


I Want to Change

by Shiroyasha4717



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Eventual Romance, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past-Drv3, Pre-DRv3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-27 22:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14435205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiroyasha4717/pseuds/Shiroyasha4717
Summary: Kokichi needed to change. He needed to change for him, for everyone around him. For Shuichi. Even if the only way to do that, was by participating in a killing game known as Dangan Ronpa.





	1. Coward

Shuichi run. He run as if someone was chasing him, as if he was running for his life. But for someone running for his life, he had a huge grin on his face. With one hand he was grabbing tightly onto his bag's lace, and with the other he was securing his hat in place, making sure the windy gasts wouldn't blow it away. He run among the other students, walking towards the High School's entrance, easily avoiding any collision with the others.

He entered the building, and run up the stairs, jumping two or even three steps at once to reach his destination. He sprinted towards the end of the hallway, swiftly opened a classroom door, and walked towards a desk in the far back, by the window.

A boy, quite shorter than him, was sitting by that desk in the far back. He was wearing a black uniform, all buttoned up to his neck, neatly ironed and with no wrinkles to be found. He was staring out of the window, but nowhere in general, even if his eyes seemed fixated on a specific spot. He looked..tired. To say the least. An oversized bandage was covering his right cheek, as with his hand he was supporting his other one, leaning towards it. He seemed lost in thought, when a familiar voice suddenly ripped him away from whatever he was considering.  
"Kokichi! You won't believe this!"  
A hat wearing boy approached him, turning the chair of the desk in front of his towards the shorter boy's one, sitting across him. The shorter boy, a purple haired one, stared at him in confusion, as the other searched through his bag, and finally pulled out a leaflet of some shorts.

  
"Here! Look at this!" He said, as he passed the leaflet towards thd purple haired boy, that took hold of it with shaky hands, carefully reading the big letters written on it.  
"D-Dangan..Ronpa..auditions?" He turned to Shuichi with a confused look.  
"Exactly! This is our chance! We've been waiting for this!"

  
_You have..not me._ Kokichi thought, but chose not to say it out loud. He didn't want to aggravate the other boy. "B-But..Is that a good idea? Wouldn't it be..dangerous?" he meekly replied, his eyes barely visible from behind the leaflet.  
"Dangerous? Of course it's dangerous! That's the point of the game!" Shuichi excitedly replied, raising his hands upwards. "Oh man, I've thought of so many murder plans! Unsolvable! Tons of them! Do you think they'll let me be the ultimate detective? Quite a few have appeared in the past, but none of them have been the murderer so far! Nobody will expect a thing! Also-"  
Kokichi had stopped listening to this point. A murder game? Why would anyone want to take part in such a thing? Why would they even allow it in the first place? He had been forced to watch all of the previous seasons by Shuichi, and he felt disgusted with each and every one of them. He never understood Shuichi's fascination with them, but knew how excited his friend would get just by listening to the words 'Dangan Ronpa' .  
"-Anyways. The auditions start this evening. So let's meet up after school and go together!"  
Shuichi's last comment woke him up once more.  
"T-Together?"  
"Of course! We'll both participate! If somehow my murder plans don't work out, we can still win together! After all, the game won't stop until only two people are left."  
Kokichi thought that Shuichi was sick. Sick for thinking up murder plans when he was a high school student. Sick of approving and enjoying a murder game that prayed on others' weaknesses. But could someone with countless self-inflicted scars on his body call someone else sick?  
"I..I'll think about it.." He quietly said, averting his gaze when he saw Shuichi's frustrated one.  
"You know," Shuichi replied, after a small pause, and Kokichi embraced himself for the harsh words that were about to come. He was used to this.  
"If you didn't act like such a big pussy all the time, maybe I wouldn't be your only friend. Maybe you wouldn't get bullied by the whole class. Maybe Kaito wouldn't have punched you yesterday. But," he said, as he got up, moving to his own seat across the classroom, as he saw the teacher walking towards their class from the open door, "I should have expected this. I don't know why I thought you could change."

  
The teacher walked in, and Kokichi looked towards his clenched fists. He was used to this. The bullying, the verbal abuse. Nothing new. But as much as he was used to it, Shuichi's words always hurt him. Made a hole right through his heart. Because he liked Shuichi, even if he would never let the other know. And he wanted to change. He didn't want to be the whole school's target. He wanted to be brave, to be able to express his feelings. To not be so scared of everything and everyone all the time. But no matter how much he tried, he was never able to achieve this goal. Nothing would ever change.

  
\------  
"Well, feel free to introduce yourself, and why do you wish to participate in the next season of Dangan Ronpa."  
Kokichi slowly raised his head, and looked over to the committee in front of him.  
"M-My name is..Kokichi Ouma. I want to participate.. in the next season of Dangan Ronpa because...  
I want to change."  
\-----

  
**Kokichi:Saihara-kun?**  
**Saihara-kun:What. Its 2 am. Just what.**  
**Kokichi: I**  
**Kokichi:Well**  
**Kokichi:I auditioned for Dangan Ronpa this evening. And**  
**Kokichi:I passed.**  
**Saihara-kun:You**  
**Saihara-kun:What**  
**Saihara-kun:You auditioned?**  
**Kokichi:You did as well..Right?**  
**Saihara-kun:I did, and I passed as well. But I thought you weren't going to audition?**  
**Kokichi:Oh..well..Haha. Guess I changed my mind.**

  
Kokichi clenched his phone tightly with both hands, as he laid down on his bed, staring out of his window at the moonlit sky. He knew that this was a terrible idea. He knew that someone like him would never walk out of such a game alive. But, this was the only way. The only way he could change. He needed to change. He wanted to change. For himself, for everyone around him. For Shuichi.

  
**Saihara-kun:Oh man, this is great! I can't believe we both passed! I gotta tell Kaede about this! She auditioned and passed as well!**

  
Kokichi felt his heart clench as he read the received message. Akamatsu Kaede. Even though Shuichi wouldn't admit so, Kokichi was sure that the other boy liked her. What wasn't to like? She was pretty, brave, sociable. Everyone loved her. She was the exact opposite of what he was. Plain, unsociable, disliked. And a coward.

  
**Kokichi:Oh. Akamatsu-san passed as well? Great**.

  
No. It wasn't great. It was terrible.

  
**Saihara-kun:Kaito passed as well! He just messaged me! Oh man, all four of us passed from our school. I'm so excited right now, I doubt I'll be able to fall back to sleep. The game starts in one month, I can't wait!"**

  
One month. All that was left until Kokichi got his long awaited change. Just one month. Just thirty days, that would pass before anyone realized.

  
And they did pass. Quicker than Kokichi would want.

  
A car from Team Dangan Ronpa arrived outside his house early in the morning, after letting him know they would pick him up tomorrow the day before. Kokichi saw it arriving from his window, and wearing simply his uniform, as he was instructed to not bring any personal items with him, walked down the stairs from his bedroom. He didn't bother saying goodbye to his parents. He didn't even let them know about his participation in the game. Not like they would care. They probably weren't even there at the moment.  
He exited his house, and walked towards the car, where a young woman, with long blue hair, seemingly around his age, was waiting, leaning towards the car. She smiled brightly as she saw him approaching her.

  
"Good morning! You must be Kokichi Ouma,right? I'm very happy to meet you from up close. You must be really excited about this!" she cheerfully said, as she opened the car's door, leading Kokichi inside.  
"P-Pleased to meet you as well. And yea..I'm..very excited."  
Kokichi quietly sat down inside the car, and noticed that the car's Windows were completely black, making it impossible to take as much as a glimpse of were they were heading.

  
_You asked for this._

  
Kokichi vigorously nodded at his thoughts. He did ask for this. So he didn't ask any questions.

  
"Oh, by the way. Would you like some coffee?" the blue haired woman sitting next to him offered, already pouring him some in a plastic cup from a thermos that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.  
Kokichi hated coffee, but he knew, that being the coward he was, we would never be able to decline an offer. So he shakily took hold of the cup, and muttered a quiet thank you. He wasn't planning on drinking any, but seeing the young woman looking at him expectantly, he slowly brought the cup towards his lips, and took a tiny sip. But that tiny sip, was more than enough.  
"I-It's good. Thanks." he meekly said, as the woman turned away from him and stared outside the black window, the smile never leaving her lips.

  
Kokichi's thoughts wondered to Shuichi. Were was he? Was he already at the game's site? Was he brave and excited for the game, or was he scared and having second thoughts like him? He suddenly felt his head getting heavy, and his eyes slowly closing, steadily drifting out of consciousness. He glanced to his right, and saw the woman offering him another warm smile. Did she..do something..to him? Shuichi..was he alright?  
Shuichi's image was the last thing on his mind, as his eyes finally closed.

  
The change he so much wanted, was just about to come.


	2. Disguise

Kokichi slowly opened his eyes. Immediately, feelings of discomfort rushed over him. His body ached all over, and his head was spinning endlessly, as if he was hangover. With narrowed eyes, he took a look at his surroundings, looking for answers as to what had happened. He entered a car..and then?  
He was sitting in the middle of what looked like an indoors garden. Few flowers were scattered around, but mainly rough, unattended grass. Were was this place?

  
"Are you alright?"

He immediately turned his head in panic, looking up, towards the voice's source.

"I apologize if I startled you, but I had to make sure you were alright. As alright as someone can be in a situation like this."The person spoke once more, as they extended a slender hand out towards Kokichi. The short boy shakily took hold of the hand, and after taking one more look around, as if to assure himself he wasn't dreaming and just woke up, looked towards the person next to him,as he got up. It was a woman, quite taller than himself, with sandy blonde hair, that was obscuring one of her eyes. She was wearing a school uniform, but one different than his own, or any of those he had seen in his area. She was giving him concerned looks, as if she was genuinely worried about him. Something Kokichi hadn't witnessed in years.

"Um..T-Thank you." he finally said, offering the best smile he had, as small as it was. "W-Who are you?"  
"My name is Tojo Kirumi. And I'm just as confused as you are, as we seem to be in the same situation. The last thing I remember was being in a car. A car that I was forced into, if I recall correctly."

_Forced?_ But he entered in his own will right?

"My last memory is of a piece of cloth with a peculiar odor forced against my face. But after that..I can't admit I remember anything. I woke up here, some distance away from you. So I immediately checked to see if you were alright."  
She took one look around, with an uncomfortable look in her face. She was certainly afraid as well, was what Kokichi thought. But she seemed to handle the situation a lot better than he did.  
"May I ask your name in return?" she now said, turning her point of view towards the shorter boy once more.  
"Huh? O-Oh yea, of course. I'm Ouma. Ouma..Kokichi."  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Ouma-kun. Now," she said, as she tapped her hands lightly on her skirt, as if to get rid of any dust sitting on there."Shall we go?"  
"G-Go? Go where?"  
"I doubt we two are the only ones in here. There must be others. Maybe in the same situation as us, but maybe not. Even so, we might be able to confront our abducters, and find the reason we were brought here."  
Kokichi clenched his fists. Confront? How could she act so bravely in such a situation? And she was a woman on top. He should be the one acting bravely for her, not the opposite. He quietly swallowed and nodded.

"S-Sure. Let's..go."  
Countless minutes of walking aimlessly later, they reached a large door with the inscription 'Gym' written on it. Kirumi glanced at Kokichi who nodded his head, and she swiftly but carefully grasped the handles and swang it open. Inside, were a handful of other people, that surprisingly looked around the same age as them, all wearing school uniforms. None that Kokichi recognized.

"Oh no. More people have arrived."  
He looked at the woman whose voice was just heard. It was a woman taller than him, once more, with long, wavy, blue hair. She reminded him of something that he couldn't quite grasp.

"I guess you guys wouldn't happen to remember how or who brought you here,right?" The voice belonged to a tall, handsome blond man, that was standing in the middle of others. He was really standing out, as his attire didn't look much like a school uniform, more like a casual wear. "None of us remember either." As he spoke once more, more and more people were entering the gym, all high schoolers. Kokichi thought that was certainly weird, but chose not to comment out loud.

"Well, that makes fourteen of us right now." The blond spoke once more. So. Two more remaining."

_Two more?_ How would he know that? He said he didn't remember how he got there, but knew about details such us the number of people that were abducted? He thought that was certainly suspicious, when the door opened once more, and just as the blond said, two last people walked in.

One was a female, with long blonde hair. Nothing else much was to be said about her, as she, along with everyone in the room, seemed like plain high schoolers, nothing of importance. The person who walked in next to her, was a boy. A tall boy, with black-blue hair, wearing a hat that obscured one of his eyes. He was wearing a school uniform, all buttoned up to his neck. A uniform just like the one Kokichi was wearing. Upon closer inspection, the girl next to him also wore a familiar uniform, one that he recognized being from his school. They both looked..familiar. Especially the boy. He looked strangely familiar. Had they met before? He couldn't remember.

"And that makes sixteen of us." the blonde said. The blonde girl, in return, started asking questions, which the blond male, Rantaro Amami, as he introduced himself, trying his best to answer. The boy next to the girl simply looked at everyone, as if trying to memorize their faces, but remained quiet. When he looked towards Kokichi's direction, however, he froze, as their eyes locked. The boy looked shocked, but confused as well. As if he wanted to say something to Kokichi, but didn't know what. Kokichi felt his heart clench and beat faster, but he wouldn't understand why. Did they really know each other?

"S-Should I check on what's happening?" Kokichi said, as he looked away from the taller boy, breaking their eye contact. _Check on what's happening?_ He obviously didn't know what was happening, and he didn't know what he could do to find out what was happening. So why did he say that?

"You can't! It's too dangerous!" the voice of a tall girl standing near the back of the gym was heard, standing in a defensive pose. Kokichi looked back to the other boy, and saw him still staring at him. But when their eyes met, he lowered his hat, and looked away.

The next few minutes passed quicker than Kokichi realized. Maybe because he didn't realize what just happened. A number of robotic looking machines, standing like giants around them appeared out of seemingly nowhere, along with a handful of what looked like stuffed toys. He carefully listened to what they said, but he didn't understand a thing. The next thing he realized, was that his uniform had simply vanished out of thin air, and replaced with a white attire, along with a scarf, painted with a checkered pattern. Just what..was this?

"Oh you're right!" he heard one of the stuffed animals speak. "They haven't remembered their talents yet!"

Talents? What talents? Kokichi had no talent. Not unless being a cowardly introvert counted as a talent. He was about to open his mouth and speak out, not sure of what he was going to say, but before he could,  
It all went black.

  
Kokichi slowly opened his eyes. Immediately, feelings of discomfort rushed over him. His body ached all over, and his head was spinning endlessly, as if he was hangover. With narrowed eyes, he took a look at his surroundings, looking for answers as to what had happened. He entered a car..and then?  
He was sitting in the middle of what looked like an indoors garden. Few flowers were scattered around, but mainly rough, unattended grass. Were was this place?

"Are you alright?"

He looked upwards to the voice's owner, and saw a woman, with short, sandy blonde hair,that obscured one of her eyes. She was tall, certainly taller than himself, and was wearing..a maid uniform?

"Wo~w!" Kokichi grinned as he hopped up, standing straight and lightly tapping on his clothes,getting rid of any dust. "Are you a maid? You look like one!"

"That's not what I asked, but if I have to answer,yes. I am a maid. My name is Tojo Kirumi, the Ultimate Maid." she said,after closing her eyes for a second,a small smile appearing on her face. "At least you seem alright."  
"Nope. I'm not. I hit my head pretty hard, so I might as well have a concussion. Oh man, I'm getting dizzy." Kokichi said, as fingers run through his own hair, looking extremely pale. Kirumi immediately stepped closer, grabbed one of his arms with her own slender hand, and raised another hand up to his forehead, checking his temperature.  
"You don't seem to have a fever at least. Would you like to lay down?"

Kokichi grinned brightly as he snatched his own arm away from Kirumi's tight grip. "Geez,Tojo-chan. That was a lie. I'm feeling fine! But anyways, um, were exactly are we? I'm a busy man, y'know."  
Kirumi sighed, as she took a look at her surroundings." I cannot be certain. My last memories are few and scarce, as the only thing I seem to be able to recall was being forced into a car and passing out soon after."

"I see, I see." Kokichi noted, as he took a look around as well, his hands resting behind his head."Welp! No point sitting idle! Let's take a look around Tojo-chan! Maybe we find other people here as well!" He brightly grinned, as he started walking aimlessly, the taller maid following not far behind. Kokichi gritted his teeth and bit his fingernail, now that his back was turned towards Kirumi, and he was walking ahead. Where the hell was he? How did he end up at this place? What was happening with D.I.C.E.?

"Excuse me for interrupting your thoughts, but may I ask your name?" he heard the maid's voice not far behind him. He turned his head to the side and gave her one of his usual grins.  
"Oh I don't know, Tojo-chan! That's classified information! What if you are the enemy and you're looking for the perfect moment to murder me? I can't let my guard down!"

Kirumi sighed, as she lightly shook her head. "If i was your enemy, I would already know your name, would I not? But please, rest assured, harming you is not my intention."

"Geez,geez fine! No need to beg!" the maid was about to point out that she never begged, when Kokichi continued. "I'm Kokichi Ouma! The Ultimate Supreme Leader!"

"Then..Ouma-kun. Please watch where you're heading. There's a door ahead of you." Kokichi paused his pace and turned his head back front, seeing a large red door merely inches away from his face.

" _Wow_ Tojo-chan, you just saved my life!" he said, light tears appearing in the corners of his eyes. "But anyways, should we go in? I wonder if there's anyone inside!" he cheerfully said, as he swang open the large, red door.


	3. Breeze

Kokichi had a troubled look on his face. He was holding a pen with one hand, and was nervously bitting the nails of his other hand. He was standing in front of a large whiteboard, with several pictures of students facing him, pinned on the board. He didn't know much about the other students, so until he did, he had them all placed in one side of the board, with the inscription 'Suspicious' below them. Except one. One picture was sitting alone from the others, on the right side of the whiteboard, with no inscription under it. The purple haired boy stared at the picture, that was lifelessly staring back. ' _Saihara Shuichi_.' Kokichi threw the pen away in anger, muttering a quiet swear. He was infuriated by the current situation. He knew that boy. He was certain he did. But no matter how much he tried, nothing came up. Not a single memory of the hat wearing boy. But his face was so familiar. So familiar, and yet so unknown at the same time. He sighed dramatically as he let his body fall on the bed, closing his eyes. He thought about resting for a while, his mind and body both exhausted, but before he finished contemplating that thought, a loud, obnoxious sound was emitted by the screen that hanged on one of his room's corners. _Ding dong dong ding!_

**A body has been discovered!**

* * *

 

He closed his eyes, slowly inhaling through his nose, as he lied on his bed. The first trial had just finished. Amami Rantaro was found dead, and his killer was revealed to be the blonde girl that hanged around Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede. She killed him in an attempt to find the mastermind and end the killing game, but, ultimately failed. So much had happened in just a few hours, that Kokichi was having trouble taking it all in. The body, the investigation, the trial. _The execution._ None of it felt right. He tried to accept the fact that somebody had just been murdered, but it all simply looked fake. Kaede did it? Rantaro died from a shot so random, with the chances of it actually hitting the target so low? Monokuma wouldn't lie to them about the murderer.. Would he?

He got up, wrapped his scarf around his neck, and exited his room. It was night time, but he still needed to leave his room. He needed some fresh air. He quietly walked along the hallway, passing in front of the other students' rooms, until he found the staircase that led upwards, and after a while, he came across a large metal door. He slowly opened it, and the cold, night breeze immediately hit his face. pleasantly cold. He walked in a straight line, until he reached the rooftop's solid railings, and with a calm sigh, he leaned his arms on them, head resting atop. He looked upwards, and, unsurprisingly, saw the moon, among countless stars. The view reminded him of something, but among other things,he couldn't remember what. Was that sky even real? Was anything that was happening real? It didn't feel real. Not a single thing. What if this was all a long dream, and any second now he would wake up, and be back, with the only family he knew, the members of D.I.C.E.? He hoped that was the case ever since he woke up in that garden, but up until now, his hopes have only been futile. His point of view turned downwards, at the large outdoor space in front of the academy. Nobody was to be seen, but that was expected. Students preferred the safety of their rooms than the dangers of walking around in the middle of the night. Having the fear of being murdered all the time. Not being able to trust anyone. Was that what their life was gonna look like from now on? Plain distrust and fear? He needed to do something. He wanted to get out, of course, but what he really wanted was to crush this game. Completely, and utterly destroy it. End it. He lied to everyone about him enjoying it, and looking forward to it, but he couldn't lie to himself. He hated this game. Forced to stand in misery and fear, watching people around him drop dead one after the other, simply waiting for his turn to disappear. He couldn't let this go on. He tightly grasped the railing with his hands, and gritted his teeth. He wouldn't let this go on.

"O-Ouma-kun?"

He swiftly turned his head around, taking one step back, his back hitting the railing with a loud, echoing sound. He looked towards the voice's source, and saw a familiar boy, wearing a familiar hat.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to startle you." Shuichi continued, as he quietly walked towards Kokichi.

"You didn't startle me, Saihara-chan! A Supreme Leader wouldn't get scared from something like that!" He brightly grinned, despite his heart fluttering uncontrollably. Why was Shuichi here? The boy continued walking towards the shorter one, only a few meters left between them. Was he here **to**..?

Kokichi's grip on the railing got firmer, as he tried to swallow a knot he felt in the base of his throat, his grin never flaking. Shuichi finally closed the distance between them, and stood across Kokichi. He nervously lifted his hat up, merely enough for both of his eyes to be visible, as he stared in Kokichi's purple tinted, dark eyes.

"You.. Weren't thinking about jumping, were you?"

Kokichi's eyes suddenly became wide open, and Shuichi thought he had actually caught him in the act, before a loud, cheerful laughter echoed around the rooftop. "Hahahaha, no way, Saihara-chan! Ow, my sides!" Kokichi was basically bended in two, letting out a rare, genuine laughter. Shuichi blushed, and lowered his hat once more.

"I-I just saw you standing at the edge, and I thought.."

Kokichi finally seemed to calm down, as he wiped away a few tears that were accumulating in his eyes. "I wasn't going to jump, Saihara-chan. I was just taking in some fresh air! Do I really look like the person that would do something like that? That's hurtful!" He added, lowering his head with a depressed look.

Shuichi let out a calm, brief giggle, as he kindly smiled at the shorter boy. "No, I guess you wouldn't."

Kokichi looked away with another grin, trying to subside the blush that was forming on his cheeks."A~nyway, what is Saihara-chan doing on the rooftop in the middle of the night? Were _you_ thinking of jumping? I can leave if you want."

"I-I wasn't thinking of jumping! I just..There was no way I could just sleep through what happened today..So.." Saihara was staring at the distance, but nowhere in particular. Kokichi took notice of how sorrowful his eyes looked, but chose not to comment. "I just wanted to be left alone, I guess."

"Mhm. Alrighty then! I'll leave the emo detective alone with his thoughts. Good night, Saihara-chan!" Kokichi finally said with another usual grin, as he turned around in order to walk away. And he would, if a tight grip wasn't suddenly locked on his elbow.

"W-Wait!"

"Hm? What is it?" Kokichi turned towards Shuichi with an indifferent look.

"Well, Ouma-kun, you probably came here for the same reason as me. I.." Shuichi swallowed louder than he intended to, which caused Kokichi to raise an eyebrow in question. "I.. Doubt today's events left you untouched, even if you act like they did. Y-You can stay. Ah well, I mean" Shuichi tried to lower his hat even more, looking slightly dissatisfied when he found out it couldn't go any lower. "I-I'd like you to stay."

Kokichi looked in Shuichi's eyes, as much as was visible from under the hat anyways, with plain suspicion. "A~nd why should I stay here with you? Seems like a boring way to waste my time. And the Ultimate Supreme Leader's time is precious you know!"

"W-Well..We can.. Talk. If you want, of course. I'd-I'd like that." Shuichi took notice of the suspicion in Kokichi's eyes, but wasn't surprised. _A detective approaching an evil supreme leader?_ No wonder he would be suspicious. But right now Shuichi couldn't care less about Kokichi's talent, or his role as an evil leader. What he needed right now was someone to talk to. Someone to express his thoughts to, someone to lean him their shoulder. Thinking it over again, could that someone be an apparently insensitive liar? He saw Kokichi sigh dramatically, but his face painted with a gentle grin. He sat down, crossing his legs in front of him, his hands resting on his knees.

"Alright, alright. I guess I have no other choice but to listen to your emo lecture, since I'm being forced to!"

Shuichi smiled as he sat down besides Kokichi. "Nobody is forcing you, Ouma-kun. Thank you."

* * *

 

Kokichi spent a good while talking to Shuichi. He bragged about his organization, throwing lies left and right, some of which Shuichi saw through, but some of which he didn't, and his expression at these times was priceless. But even if he lied, and lied, and lied, Shuichi had a smile on his face, his expression looking relaxed and calm. Kokichi didn't know why, but he felt the same way. He was glad he managed to take today's events out of the boy's mind, even if that required lying. But that was fine. Not all lies are bad, after all. There are white lies, and lies to protect people. And Kokichi enjoyed those lies more than anything else. Shuichi spoke as well, revealing several parts of his past, as well as him solving a murder case, and what effect it had on him. He briefly talked about today as well, but after a while, he found it difficult to continue, and so he dropped the conversation. After their last topic, there was silence. Kokichi had a lot to say, and he was sure Shuichi did as well, but he preferred to enjoy the brief silence. Sitting on the rooftop, the cold breeze hitting their faces, absolute silence around, except from the wind rustling on a number of leaves. It was enjoyable. But rather cold. Kokichi shivered slightly, as he wrapped his arms lightly around his own body, staring upwards at the sky. What time was it? It had to be around two, or even three am. Time sure passes quickly when you're not focused on surviving a murder game. Kokichi was about to comment that it was getting pretty late, and they should head back to the dorms to get some rest, when he felt something slightly heavy being placed around his own shoulders. He lightly flinched, as he lowered his head to inspect what it was, and saw a black jacket, with faint stripes decorating it, securely wrapped around him. He turned to Shuichi with wide open eyes, who was sitting beside him, averting his eyes to the opposite direction, an obvious blush covering his cheeks.

"I..I just thought you.." Shuichi softly said, but ultimately never finished his words. Kokichi stared dumbfounded at the boy next to him, but felt heat rising in his cheeks as well.

"You shouldn't do bold moves like that, Saihara-chan." Kokichi whispered, almost inaudible. "I might get the wrong idea." he added, as he pulled the jacket closer to his body. "Aren't _you_ cold now?"

"No." Shuichi said as he closed his eyes, a gentle smile on his lips. "I'm just fine."

_Kokichi felt like he grew a little closer to Shuichi._


	4. Calm

Kokichi stood across Shuichi, and with a nod of the other, they both used all of their strength, lifting the cage up. Kokichi felt his muscles strain, as it was certainly heavier than he expected.

"Uh..I shouldn't have lied. I'm too weak for this kind of stuff." he saw Shuichi smile across him, as a drop of sweat run all the way from his forehead down to his chin. They finally reached Tenko in the middle of the room, and finally let go of the cage on top of her, while Tenko complained about them not being careful. Korekiyo covered the cage with a white sheet, and afterwards, along with Himiko, they helped move the dog statue atop of the cage. He walked up to the candle, blowing the flame out, and then returned back to his corner, with little trouble.

He was surprised by how dark the room got, and immediately got a bad feeling about this whole seance thing. This was the perfect opportunity for a murder. He turned his point of view towards Shuichi's corner, but obviously, saw nothing but darkness. They begun singing the Caged Child song, and relaxed, as he noticed Shuichi singing along with the rest of them, confirming that everyone was alright. Close to the end of the song, a loud noise was heard from the middle of the room, as if something broke through the floor. _Did the statue fall over?_ He finished singing the song, and grew worried, as Korekiyo's calls for Tenko went unanswered. _Did the seance fail?_ Korekiyo instructed them to light the candles again, and he walked in a straight line along the wall, until he reached the candle, and after striking a match, lit it ablaze once more. The opposite side of the room was engulfed in light as well, as he saw Shuichi appearing with a lit match in his hand, the candle next to him lit just like his own. After briefly discussing if the seance failed, they decided to remove the objects to check on Tenko. They all moved the dog statue, which was surprisingly still on top of the cage. _What was that sound then?_ Korekiyo took off the white sheet, and Kokichi immediately noticed Tenko lying at the bottom of the cage, and next to her, blood. The usual, by now, bright coloured blood, that they all hated to see more than anything else. Himiko rushed to Tenko's side, pushing the cage off her, and came across her lifeless, limp corpse.   
**Ding dong dong ding!**

* * *

  
"For my beloved sister, I had to kill them. To send her one hundred friends!"   
Ignoring Korekiyo's monologue, merely throwing some poison-coated comments at him, he thought how unlucky the situation was. How unlucky they had to be, for a plain serial killer with some serious mental issues to be in the same 'game' as them. How unlucky both Tenko, and the previously murdered Angie were, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. They had just gotten over Ryoma and Tojo's deaths from a few days ago, something that deeply disturbed Kokichi, as even if he wouldn't admit it himself, had grown to like the Ultimate Maid. And now, another two of them had died. Only nine of them would be left. Almost half of them. He lifelessly watched through Korekiyo's execution, not feeling one bit of pity for the other man. He deserved everything that was thrown at him. Every second of it.

After the trial, which seemed to last for forever, finally ended, he quietly walked back to his room, angrily bitting his nails. The situation was getting out of hand. He definitely had to do something, and soon. Who knows when somebody will try to do the same thing to him? The same thing that happened to almost half of them. Plain, cold-blooded murder. He unlocked his room, and after entering, made sure to lock it behind him. He took off his shoes and his scarf, along with the rest of his clothes, leaving on just his underwear. He only put on a white T-shirt, and lied on his bed, submerging himself underneath the sheets. He just wanted to sleep this whole thing off, even if it was still an hour or so before night time.

  
He had to be sleeping for at least a couple of hours, when a knocking on his door suddenly woke him up. With narrowed eyes he stared at the door, making sure he didn't imagine the sound, and after a few seconds, the same knocking sound was heard. With a grunt, he ripped the sheets off of him and walked up to the door, stumbling a few times on a number of _things_ , covering the floor of the whole room. After he reached the door, and hearing the same, unchanged knocking, he placed his hand on the keys behind the door, before talking. He glanced to a clock on the wall of his room, signaling the time as some minutes past eleven.   
"Who the hell is it?" he asked in annoyance, as he rubbed his eyes. It was suspicious to say the least, a knock in the middle of the night. But it's not like he was gonna open the door. He wasn't dumb. And he doubted the attacker, if the person knocking on his door was one, would just attempt to break down his door, and risk waking everyone else up from the rooms nearby. He was simply curious about who it could be. After a few seconds, a reply was heard from the opposite side of the door.  
"It's..Shuichi. I'm sorry if I woke you up, Ouma-kun. I can leave if you want to go back to sleep." a quiet voice was heard. Kokichi felt the tension accumulated on his shoulders drop, as he sighed, and unlocked the door.   
"It's fine, Saihara-chan. I wasn't sleeping! You can come in." He replied with a grin, as he stepped aside, letting Shuichi walk in. Shuichi's cheeks were tainted red once he saw Kokichi in his underwear and a plain shirt, but chose not to comment, especially in his choice of underwear colour, and just walk in. He almost stumbled against _something_ on the floor, and once he turned his sight towards it, noticed it was the inner tube, from the second trial. A number of other evidence was scattered around his room, all key parts of the previous trials. _So that's where everything went? Monokuma didn't retrieve it? Why did Kokichi take all this?_   
"Sorry for the mess, Saihara-chan!" Kokichi was heard along with his usual giggle, and a distinguishing locking sound, as Shuichi saw him locking the door with the corner of his eye. "I'll clean up, I promise!" With a few swift jumps, he avoided everything on the floor, and sat on his bed, tapping the space next to him lightly, signalling Shuichi to sit besides him. After a careful attempt to navigate himself threw the mess, Shuichi reached the bed, and sat besides Kokichi, while the other grabbed a nearby bottle of a soda, which remarkably matched the colour of his hair and eyes.   
"So, Saihara-chan. Have you come to murder me? We're all alone, in the middle of the night, in a locked room. Nobody probably knows that you visited me, so this is the perfect opportunity for you! Or..for me." he added, as he offered the other boy a mischievous smile. Shuichi let out a soft sigh, a slight smile on his lips.   
"I didn't come here to murder you Ouma-kun. And I know you're lying, you're not gonna murder me either. I just wanted..to see you? Ah, well, I mean," Kokichi noticed Shuichi blushing once more, but once more, didn't comment on it, instead letting out a soft giggle, as Shuichi continued." I just thought we both enjoyed our talk the last time, so.. I just wanted to spend some time with you again. If you wanted, of course. But I apparently woke you up." He said, as he looked down to the obviously recently used bedsheets. "I'm sorry."  
"Ge~ez Saihara-chan. I told you I wasn't sleeping! But you want me to listen to your emo lecture again, what a pain!" He said in a dramatic tone, as he leaned back against the wall, a genuine-looking smile on his lips. Shuichi took that as a sign of approval, and once more, they begun talking with no end in sight. After a couple of hours, Shuichi said something that genuinely surprised Kokichi.

  
"O-Ouma-kun, I know this may sound like a fishy pick-up line, but.."  
"Ohhh, Saihara-chan is hitting on me now? That's unexpected!"  
"..Have we met before?" Shuichi finished his sentence, ignoring Kokichi's comments, that unwillingly made his cheeks grow hotter. "I can't help thinking that we have. You just seem.. So familiar. It was the same with..Kaede," he said, as Kokichi noticed a hint of sadness in his voice, "But..I didn't get the chance to discuss this with her."   
Kokichi was silent for a few seconds, before grinning brightly.  
"Yup, we've met before."  
"We have?!" Shuichi jumped in place, staring intensely at Kokichi. "W-When? How? I..can't seem to remember. Did we-"  
"Calm down Saihara-chan! I don't remember either." Kokichi said, lifting his arms behind his head with a sigh.  
"T-Then how.?"  
"Oh I'm sure of it. Because I feel the same way! When we first met, I thought you seemed familiar as well. So," he added, as he pointed towards Shuichi with a slender finger, "Since you feel the same way, we've definitely met before."   
Shuichi raised a hand against his own chin, looking lost in thought, while Kokichi chugged down his soda.   
"Could it be that..we knew each other before this killing game?"   
"Hmm.. Pro~bably!" Kokichi offered him a wide grin."Who knows, Saihara-chan. Maybe we were dating!" he added, another mischevious grin painted on his lips.   
"D-Da.." another flush appeared on Shuichi's cheeks, as he sighed, and from the giggle heard from next to him, realized that Kokichi was doing it on purpose. "Don't joke around like that, Ouma-kun." Kokichi was quiet for a good amount of time, and Shuichi took notice of how serious his expression looked, but didn't disturb him out of his thoughts. His line of sight drifted off to, unwillingly, of course, Kokichi's pale, naked legs, that laid across the bed, dangling slightly off the edge at his ankles. He managed to subside another stroke of blush, as he wondered if Kokichi was eating sufficiently, his legs looking extremely slim. He also took notice of a large scar, across his right thigh, but figured that if he asked about it, he would more likely than not receive a lie as an answer. The arms visible from under the white T-shirt looked fairly slim as well. Again, he noticed another faded scar across his left wrist _(?)_ , and several other, shorter ones, across his right arm. _Were those..?_ He looked back at Kokichi's face once more, and realized that the shorter boy probably forgot about having those in plain sight, as these things normally remain hidden, and doubted that he would willingly show them to anyone. Kokichi suddenly turned towards Shuichi, with a dead serious expression, their eyes locking.

  
"Saihara-chan, you like me, don't you?"

  
_What..?_ "H-Huh?..What did you just.."  
Shuichi never finished his words, as Kokichi leaned closer to him, and placed his lips atop of Shuichi's. The taller boy was speechless, to say the least, and this time, couldn't hold back the blush that painted his cheeks. Kokichi sat back next to him, looking at Shuichi with what seemed like, the most genuine smile he had ever offered. Shuichi raised a hand across his own lips, still staring at Kokichi with a shocked expression, but noticed a faint blush appearing on the shorter boys cheeks likewise, which was barely visible, under the wrinkles that formed from the wide grin.  
"I knew it. You like me."   
Shuichi had no other choice than to look away, as the more he looked at the other boy, the worse his blush seemed to get.  
"You were the one who k-kissed me just now. Doesn't that mean you like me?" he said, an annoyed expression on his face.   
"Yup. I like Saihara-chan." before Shuichi could retaliate, Kokichi added another line. "And that's not a lie. Nishishi!"

  
Shuichi was about to drag the topic a little further, when Kokichi jumped off the bed, searching the room for his scattered clothes. He took off the T-shirt, and quickly begun getting dressed.  
"Saihara-chan, let's go prank Kee-boy! We can draw on his face, or just scream really loud and wake him up! Actually, do robots even sleep? Ohh~ Maybe instead of sleeping he's charging! Let's go unplug him!" Kokichi in the meanwhile had finished getting dressed, and after unlocking the room, simply left, heading straight for Keebo's dorm room, a giggle heard from his direction.  
"W-Wait, Ouma-kun!" Shuichi run after him, despite tripping on the numerous things covering the floor a number of times. He glanced to the large clock on the room's wall, depicting the time as a few minutes before three a.m. By the time he managed to reach the exit and get in the hallway, he could already hear Keebo screaming in the distance, followed by a number of yells from the other rooms.


	5. Storm

Shuichi woke up to a number of bangs aimed at his room's door. Startled, he jumped upwards in his bed, almost falling off of it, but managed to regain his posture and sit up. He glanced towards his room's clock, noticing the time being way past the morning announcement. _How did I sleep in that much..?_ He shook his head, recalling the events of last night.

After his..escalated talk, with Kokichi, he followed him outside, to find him effectively scaring Keebo out of his skin. Or, out of his parts. Keebo's scream along with Kokichi's laugh echoed around the dorms, not failing to wake everyone else up. Some of them were startled, running out in shock and worry, thinking that another murder had taken place, whereas some others were simply annoyed of being woken up at 3 am. Maki especially, looked like she wanted to cut off Kokichi's tongue and shove it down his throat.  
"What the fuck are you waking us up for at three am you shitty twink?!"  
"Don't blame me Miu~! Saihara-chan was the one who wouldn't shut up about pranking Keebo! I simply delivered his wish!" Kokichi grinned from ear to ear, his hands leisurely placed behind his head.  
"So this is _your_ fault you fucker?!" Miu angrily turned towards Shuichi, with the latter just noticing her face painted in a green kind of beauty mask.  
"N-No! I didn't -"  
"Iruma-san, there's no way Saihara-kun would do something like that. This is all Ouma-kun's fault, obviously."  
Keebo turned towards Kokichi, who kept giggling.  
After a yell that sounded like a war cry was heard from the dorms' hallway, Kaito finally appeared, seeing red all over and fuming.

" **What did he do this time?!"**

* * *

  
Shuichi sighed and got up, approaching the door. After unlocking it, he was met with Maki, a slightly tired expression on her face, but nothing too obvious, that anyone would immediately take notice of.  
"Kaito told me to wake you up." She simply stated. "So get dressed, you look like shit."  
Shuichi left the door half open after a quick nod, hiding back inside and changing his attire. He walked towards the bathroom, splashing water on his face, and quickly brushing his teeth.  
"Where's Kaito?" He said, loud enough to be heard from across the room and in the hallway, where Maki waited.  
"At the dining hall, along with everyone else. he's busy arguing back and forth with Kokichi about yesterday."

  
That wasn't unexpected.  
Shuichi finally looked towards the bathroom's mirror, confirming Maki's comment. He did look like shit. He tried to brush his hair down, as it was pointing out to several directions, but couldn't do much about the dark circles underneath his eyes. The others had slept through most of the night, but he didn't. Neither did Kokichi. He wondered if Kokichi would have bags underneath his eyes as well, but quickly shook his head, after memories of yesterday's conversation popped back into his consciousness uninvited. He rushed outside to meet Maki, and walked along with her towards the dining hall, to meet everyone. As soon as he approached the dining hall's door, yells could be heard from inside, along with laughter, but insults likewise. Nothing out of the ordinary. And nothing was, out of the ordinary, for a number of days that passed. Everything was quiet, and calm. Nobody killed, and nobody died. Had this whole thing finally ended?

* * *

  
Miu proposed her idea of the Virtual World to everyone out of the blue one day. The way she described it surely sounded suspicious, but also intriguing. Especially to a detective. So along with everyone else, Shuichi got swept into accepting a visit to this new world. After a brief explanation, and with the promise of explaining more afterwards, Miu instructed everyone to take a sit and start getting ready. She presented a device looking like a helmet to everyone, and briefly, but clearly enough, stated the instructions of its use.  
"Out of curiosity..What happens if you switch the cords?" Keebo politely asked, examining the cords with great care.  
"I dunno. I haven't tried it before..probably gets all glitchy or something." Miu replied, as she plugged her own cords in her helmet, getting ready. "Did'y'all finish already?!"

  
Shuichi plugged the cords in his helmet, and saw Kokichi doing the same thing from the corner of his eye, sitting left of him. He had his usual cheerful expression on his face, but Shuichi had his doubts. There was something different about him, something..dark, and sinister. He had realized that over the past few days, during their frequent conversations. Kokichi had somewhat changed, yet at the same time, remained all the same old him. And despite Shuichi's efforts to untangle the events that caused this sudden change, Kokichi did a good job of keeping the wall between them as impassable as ever before. Despite them spending so much time together, and becoming close, over the span of the killing game, that wall was still separating them, separating their deepest feelings and thoughts. Shuichi made countless attempts to tear it down, but Kokichi simply kept re-building it, one time right after the other. Once Shuichi felt that he could finally understand him, that feeling simply vanished from his grip.  
"So..How do you feel about this whole..Virtual World, Ouma-kun?" He meekly asked, offering the boy next to him a polite smile.  
"Me? I'm suuuper excited, Saihara-chan! It sounds like so much fun! Finally! I mean, the past few days have been bo~ring as hell." He sure didn't _sound_ excited, was what Shuichi thought. Kokichi was staring at the helmet sitting on his lap, and despite having his common wide grin, his eyes were nothing of of the same sorts. They looked dead serious, dark, and endless. Something was clearly on his mind.  
"Ouma-kun..I know I've been asking you this a lot lately but..Are you sure you're alright?"  
As everyone started placing their helmets on their heads, the only reply Shuichi received was a rare, kind smile. No words, no lies. A simple smile was the boy's answer, as he faced away from Shuichi, wearing the helmet carefully. And after a sigh, Shuichi did the same thing.

* * *

  
Entering the Virtual World was a shock, of course. Kokichi entered last, among Gonta and Miu. It was certainly not what he expected. After conducting a small experiment that involved punching Keebo, he concluded what he initially thought, that their senses are connected. He made sure to point that one out, so that everyone would have it in their minds, but at the same time brought Miu in an uncomfortable position, trying her best to explain. Nobody thought much of it, except Maki, and mainly Kokichi. His suspicions, unfortunately, have been correct. What he thought _was_ happening, **was** happening. But he was ready. He had already prepared, he knew what to do. After a while of staying together, they all decided to split up and search for the secret of the outside world. Shuichi noticed Miu whispering to Kokichi, but couldn't, and didn't want to eavesdrop, so he didn't think much of it initially. And just like that, he left to search on his own part, after seeing Kokichi and Gonta, walking away.

  
It had been a good while after they split up for good, after Miu dropping the bridge and thus separating them, and while Shuichi did his best to search around, he couldn't help but worry about the others. Maki, Keebo and Himiko were all together, so that seemed to calm him a little, but it'd been a good while after last seeing Kaito, Kokichi, Miu and Gonta. He was going to add Tsumugi in that list, but he luckily run into her, confirming at least one person being okay. But then, an extremely loud noise was heard. As if something crashed down with considerable force and speed, earning a shocked gasp from both him and the female next to him. But another shocked cry wad heard, which didn't come from those two, despite sounding close by. _Was that..Keebo? wasn't he at the chapel?_ After running outside along with Tsumugi, he saw someone he didn't expect to see alone, Gonta. Gonta tried his best to explain that he tried to find out what that sudden noise was, but failed, and also despite admitting to hearing Keebo's voice, the latter didn't seem to appear anywhere close to them. Then _how_..  
"O-Oh! Gonta found bridge in river! Gonta thought it might help.."  
"Y-You found the bridge? Where?" Shuichi quiestioned in shock, as the taller man guided him and Tsumugi towards a far side of the river, where the large pixelated sign was floating at a halt. Gonta easily picked it up, and after being instructed by Tsumugi and Shuichi, effectively placed it over the river, allowing the others to finally come across, and re-unite. Shuichi didn't have time to rejoice, however, when he was informed that Miu's body was unresponsive all of a sudden, and that they should log out in order to check on her.  
"Where's Kaito?" Maki was heard, as she approached Shuichi, while all of them were walking towards the salon.  
"I-I don't know, I haven't seen him in a while. Same for Kokichi.."  
"I couldn't care less about that brat." Maki spat back at him. "Let's leave this place already." One by one, everyone approached the phone, and, one by one, called out their own names into it. Shuichi was last. He grasped the phone with one hand, and tightly gripped the cloth over his heart with the other one. It was, for some reason, beating uncontrollably. If he could, in this Virtual World, he was sure he'd been sweating buckets. Why was he so nervous?  
"I-I'm..Shuichi Saihara."

  
In a flash, he was brought back to the real world, and quickly reached up, to remove the helmet. He noticed everyone in front of him, staring straight ahead.  
"W-What hap-"  
After approaching the rest of them, he finally caught sight of what seemed to be the cause of this nauseating feeling he'd had for some time now. Miu's cold, dead body, hands wrapped around her own throat as if attempting to claw at the skin, and let fresh air flow in. Her eyes staring off somewhere, but nowhere in particular, as if they would move any second now, along with her usual grin and insults. But nothing happened, and nothing changed. Shuichi felt sick, and reflexively took a step back and looked away, averting his point of view from the disturbing sight ahead of him. In his new point of view, was Keebo, staring at the opposite direction of Miu, right behind Shuichi. Keebo's eyes looked expressionless, even for a robot. He was close with Miu, so it was understandable that he would be affected by this. But Shuichi took notice that Keebo's eyes were aimed somewhere in particular, scanning something from head to toes. Maki also turned towards Shuichi, after deeming having seen enough of Miu's corpse, but her sight travelled past Shuichi and stopped behind him. Her eyes became slightly larger, and her lips parted. Shuichi heard the body discovery announcement play, along with Kaito entering the room, seemingly coming from the dorms, as if nothing had happened. Kaito looked towards Miu, reacting with a high-pitched scream at the sight, and then turned towards the others, and like the rest of then, his sight rested behind Shuichi.  
_W..what is everyone looking at..?_  
Shuichi, unable to control his curiosity any further, turned around. Slowly at first, simply glancing from above his shoulder, but steadily, laid his eyes upon a sight worse than he could ever imagine.

  
Kokichi was sitting on his chair. If it weren't for the stream of blood flooding from his forehead down his face, one would think he was simply asleep. His eyes were closed, and in no way had a painful expression on his face. He looked peaceful,the kind of expression someone has when going to bed after a long, highly-rewarding day. Completely calm, in utter bliss. He was simply sleeping, wasn't he? He fell once more, and hit his head, didn't he? This was definitely a prank, elaborately set up by Kokichi, to give Shuichi a good scare. He would definitely prank him like that,  
Wouldn't he?


	6. Despair

Shuichi felt a cold sweat dripping down his neck, and seeping into his shirt. His knees felt weak, and soon could no longer support him, thus falling down on the cold floor with a soulless motion. He could not utter a single word. He simple stared, at the lifeless corpse in front of him. The corpse of the person he had grown to love and care about only just recently. The one person he could really share everything with. The one person that everyone misunderstood, and avoided. The person that trusted only him in this place.

" **Ding Dong Dong Ding**!"

* * *

 

Shuichi closed his eyes, trying to rid his mind of the overlapping voices of his 'classmates'. Everyone was furious, anxious, scared, or a mix of all these. The trial had gone on for long enough, but no solid suspects had been found, given everyone preferred to yell over each other than actually converse. Iruma Miu and..Kokichi Ouma had been murdered. According to the Monokuma File, Kokichi's time of death was just a couple of minutes before Miu's. Which meant, that similarly to the previous trial, only Kokichi's murderer had to be found. Miu's case was in a cruel way, irrelevant. Not to Shuichi though. Just like the previous trial, he was going to shed light in both those murders. He had to. For everyone that had died so far. For Kaede. For him. He started off by erasing any possible suspects. Kiibo, Maki, and Himiko were all together at the time Miu was found. All three are witnesses to each other's alibis. Kaito had logged off ahead of them, but checking the murder times and his log-off time, Kaito couldn't have done it. He was together with Tsumugi, so as with the first three, they confirmed each other's alibi. That, however, left only one person. The person nobody would expect to do such a cruel thing.

Gokuhara Gonta.

* * *

 

Shuichi sat down, on the rooftop's cold, metal floor. He gazed up towards the countless, fake, but still beautiful stars. This view only made the pain in his chest grow deeper. Remembering spending time with Kokichi here..was simply painful. The trial had ended a few hours ago. As it was revealed, Gonta was the only possible murderer. When Shuichi comforted Gonta about the murders, the giant man simply started crying. He cried, and cried, and cried. He asked for forgiveness, and to not be hated, because of his un-gentlemanly acts. Gokuhara Gonta admitted to killing Iruma Miu. But not Kokichi Ouma. As it turned out, Miu herself was the one who attacked, and ultimately killed, Kokichi. All while Gonta was present. Gonta admitted that once he saw Miu attack Kokichi, he froze in place. He wanted to stop her, but he simply couldn't move. He couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't do anything. However, once Miu had fulfilled her goal, Gonta stroke back. And with his turn, he murdered the original murderer. In this way, however, the murderer that was going to be punished was already dead. The votes were correct, and nobody else was killed that day. Gonta had locked himself in his lab, and refused to eat or communicate with anyone else. When Shuichi passed by his lab on his way to the rooftop, sobbings could easily be heard from the inside. Shuichi looked to his side, remembering the times he and Kokichi sat down there together. What if things turned out different? What if Gonta found the courage to stop Miu? Kokichi would be alive, and Gonta would be dead. But this was not the case. Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, was dead. And that made the Ultimate Detective furious. Kokichi was a smart young man. Maybe too smart. How could he simply..die like that? Hadn't he noticed something? Everyone's behavior towards him was stone cold, and filled with hate. He should have been more careful than that, shouldn't he? How could he just..vanish, and leave Shuichi behind? What happened to all the dreams the two of them contemplated? What happened to their _hope_?

Shuichi slowly pushed the door to Kokichi's room open. It was just as messy as the last time he saw it, evidence scattered around the floor, clothes thrown on every possible surface, the whiteboard- The whiteboard? He walked up to the large board pinned on the wall, and carefully examined it. His eyes immediately fell on his own picture, carefully pinned afar from the others, the word 'Trustworthy' simply written below it. The pain in his chest grew even more. To the left, he found his classmates' pictures, with several comments below them, all under the category 'Suspicious'. Iruma Miu's picture was all alone in the center of the board, marked with circles all around it. He traced the words below the picture with his fingers, wiping off some of the ink and dragging it along the board. " **She's planning something**." This comment shocked the detective. Kokichi _knew_ that he was going to get attacked. Why didn't he act then? Why didn't he let him know? Why did he just let it happen?! Kokichi's smile from this morning flashed into his mind unwillingly. Gentle, and pure. He felt nauseous and took a step back, hitting the bed behind him and falling down onto it. A loud crunchy sound was heard, and after turning his point of view towards the sounds' source, saw a white envelope on the bed. Was this for Kokichi? He carefully took the envelope into his hands, and read the letters written with a purple marker on the outside of the envelope. " _To Saihara-chan!_ " The cold sweat returned, and Shuichi practically tear open the envelope, and ripped out the letter that was carefully folded inside. He took a shaky, long breath, and begun reading.

* * *

 

_ Dear Saihara-chan                                      _

_ How are you doing? Me, I’m doing fine! Well, that’s a lie. If you’re reading this right now, I guess I’m dead. Yep. The great, the one and only Ultimate Supreme Leader Kokichi Ouma is finally dead. Boy, the others must be throwing a party right now! But since you’re in my room snooping around I guess you aren’t really in a party mood. Maybe you’re sad? Maybe you’re wondering, ‘how could you die like that’, or ‘why didn’t you do anything’? Well, to put it simply, my plans failed. I’m not as dumb as to not realize that somebody’s coming for my head. But I guess in the end it didn’t really work out. And by that, I mean Gonta left me to die. Welp, can’t blame him! Everyone hates me after all. Except, you maybe. I hope so at least. I trusted you after all. _

_ Well anyways, me being dead isn’t what’s important right now. What’s important, is that now that I’m gone, you’re the only one who can stop this killing game. I know you can do it. So I’ll leave all my research and thoughts in your trusty hands! I’ll explain this in another letter, that I hopefully didn’t forget to write. That would be awkward. I don’t want it falling into the wrong hands, however. So where you find it, will be a bit tricky! But you’re a detective, you can surely manage with a wimpy code like this one!                                                                _

_                                                             See you soon,    _

_                                                                  Kokichi        _

* * *

Shuichi swallowed the bundle that was caught up in his throat, and quickly turned the letter around. On the back page, were a few quickly scribbled symbols, that didn’t resemble any language that he had ever seen. They seemed familiar, however, as if he had seen them before. Small symbols, some resembling already existing letters, others resembling geometrical shapes, others resembling something completely unknown.  He folded the letter and carefully placed it in his jacket’s pocket, and quietly made his way out of the room. Outside, however, was Maki. She was leaning against the opposite wall, her hands folded in front of her, a grim look in her eyes. Not so much of anger, or rage, more of frustration, and sadness.

‘’O-Oh, M-Maki! I..I was just..’’

Maki grabbed Shuichi’s arm all of a sudden, and started dragging him alongside her. She was pacing fast, and Shuichi had trouble keeping up.

‘’Maki, w-what’s wrong?’’

‘’It’s Kaito.’’

Shuichi shut his mouth closed, and sped up as much as he could. From what he could tell, they were heading towards Kaito’s Ultimate Lab.

‘’I-Is he..okay?’’ Shuichi meekly asked, even if he could already tell what the answer would be.

‘’No.’’

* * *

 

 

After a short walk, they arrived at the Ultimate Astronaut’s Lab, and Maki swiftly opened the door, sprinting inside. The lab resembled a spaceship’s cockpit, and in the captain’s seat, laid Kaito. Maki kneeled next to him, and held his hand without a second though. The pain in Shuichi’s chest returned, and as he approached them, he noticed the large amount of blood that covered the majority of Kaito’s clothes. Kaito had his eyes closed, a painful expression on his face. But once he realized Shuichi was there, he opened them,  and gave him the best excuse of a smile that he could manage.

‘’H-Hey bro!’’ His smile was honest, even if it was simply a mask to his pain. ‘’Well..As you can s-see..Things aren’t looking too good for the good old Luminary of the Stars.’’

Shuichi opened his mouth, but no sound was heard. He took a step backwards, and raised a shaky hand towards his head, searching for his hat. But it was no longer there. The hat was gone. Kaede was gone. Kokichi was gone. And now… This.

‘’This..this can’t be happening. I-It just can’t be.. I-I..’’ Shuichi grasped his hair with his hands, as if attempting to tear every last strand out. His breathing had quickened, and at this point he was heading straight to a panic attack. In front of him, Kaito suddenly clenched his chest, and coughed up more blood, slowly dripping on his seat and down on the floor. Just as Shuichi was about to pass out from all the anxiety this scene was causing him, Maki swiftly moved towards him, and slapped him with all her power. Shuichi was overwhelmed by the force, his back hitting the lab’s glass wall.

‘’Stop this. Right now. Think of what’s happening. I can’t have to deal with you as well on top of..’’ Maki’s sight was aimed towards Kaito, who looked at her with half-closed eyes, and a smile on his lips.

‘’Heh..Don’t worry about me Harumaki. I’ll be fine. R-Really!’’

But he wasn’t fine. Nothing was fine.

Kaito passed away that night, with Shuichi on his side and Maki holding his hand, trying her best to hold back any tears threatening to spill. But once Kaito let out his last breath, and relaxed with the same smile on his lips that he always had, Maki gave up. She cried, and cried, and cried. For the whole night. Shuichi was quiet for a good while, just staring at her crying her heart out. He didn’t know if it was because of her, because Kaito died, because Kokichi died or because Kaede died. But soon, he started tearing up as well. And a few plain tears became sobbing, and soon they were both wailing with all their might, all alone, in the Ultimate Astronaut’s Lab.

* * *

 

 

He woke up in his room, the covers carelessly lying on top of him. He didn’t remember getting there, so he assumed that Maki must have carried him there.  He immediately got up, throwing the covers off of him, and headed towards his jacket that was hanged on a nearby chair. After a quick search, he retrieved Kokichi’s letter, and sat down, carefully examining his words once more, making sure he didn’t miss anything vital. He then proceeded to the back of the letter, where the messy code was engraved. These symbols were clearly familiar to him. He had seen them before. Maybe.. on a case? Even if Shuichi had officially involved himself with only one case, he spent countless hours on the internet, examining famous cases from all over the world. Kokichi said so in his letter, didn’t he? ‘’ _You’re a detective. You can surely manage_.’’ It had to be from a case. But which one? If it was just one case in history that involved written codes it would be fine.  But there were countless. Suddenly, a knock was heard on his room’s door, that startled him, and almost made him drop the letter. He got up, swiftly made his hair with his hands, and headed to the door. Before he could ask any questions, the visitor outside spoke.

‘’It’s Maki.’’

Shuichi quickly tried to unlock the door, but found it already unlocked. Confused, he turned towards Maki.

‘’T-The door was already unlocked. Why didn’t you come inside?’’ he figured Maki must have left it unlocked, after getting him back to his room. ‘’And isn’t it dangerous? Leaving my room unlocked?’’

Maki sighed and walked past him into his room. As she walked beside him, Shuichi was able to see dark circles below her eyes.

‘’It’s not like I could lock it from the inside you know. I had..to go. But I checked up on you several times in the night, to make sure nobody tried anything.’’

‘’O-Oh. Th-Thanks..’’

Maki’s point of view went straight to Shuichi’s hand, that still held the letter tightly.

‘’What’s that?’’

Shuichi, confused for a second, followed Maki’s eyes towards his hand, and saw the letter.

‘’O-Oh. T-This is..’’

Shuichi looked away. Should he tell Maki about the letter? Kokichi mentioned he didn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands. Is there a chance he was referring to Maki..? He remembered the whiteboard in Kokichi’s room, and Maki’s picture under the suspicious list. A comment, something like ‘’Murderer. Don’t trust her.’’ was below her picture. Kokichi didn’t trust her. But Shuichi.. He took a deep breath. Shuichi trusted Maki. Especially after the events of last night, he was sure of it. Maki was his ally. She wasn’t an untrustworthy murderer like Kokichi saw her. To his eyes, she was a friend.

‘’I-It’s a..letter. It’s a letter Kokichi left for me.’’

Maki frowned and looked away.

‘’Oh. Sorry for asking.’’

‘’N-No. It’s fine. You should read it too, actually. I trust you, and I-I’m sure you can help me with this.’’

He handed the letter to Maki, who carefully read every single word. After a brief while, she sat on Shuichi’s bed, the frown still prominent on her face.

‘’Wrong hands..huh? He must be talking about the mastermind. And what ‘code’ is he talking about?’’

‘’I-It’s on the back of the letter.’’

Maki flipped the letter around, and looked at the symbols on the back.

‘’It has to be a code from a case, I’m sure of it. And given Kokichi’s..nature, probably a murder case. B-But I’m not sure which one. I’ve definitely seen this code before, but r-right now..with everything that’s happening..I-I just can’t..think straight.’’

Maki reached out and placed a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder, trying her best to reassure him.

After examining the code once more, she turned towards Shuichi.

‘’I think I’ve seen this before too.’’

Shuichi stood up, shock visible on his face.

‘’Y-You have? R-Really?’’

‘’Pretty sure. It looks like a code from a very well known case in the past, that I had taken a look into.’’ Shuichi looked visibly confused, as to why Maki would take interest in a case, so she continued. ‘’It was a serial killer case, so I just.. Well. It was a pretty big deal when it happened.’’

‘’Which..case?’’

‘’Have you ever heard of the _Zodiac Killer_?’’

Shuichi gasped and clenched his fists. Of course! The Zodiac’s code! It was obvious from the beginning, how could he not think of it? He was the Ultimate Detective, he should have been able to tell just from a glance. He rubbed his temples, and let out a frustrated sigh. The recent events had clearly messed up his judgment and logic. They were slowly eating away at him. This needed to stop.

‘’Y-Yes. I’ve heard of him. I studied the case closely as well, since it’s still unsolved and all. I studied the code as well..but it’s not like I can remember it by heart. I-I can’t decipher this. C-Can you?’’

Maki shook her head. ‘’Obviously not. But I doubt Ouma knew how to write this down by heart either. He must have seen it somewhere.’’ She turned towards Shuichi, and stood up, the letter clenched in her hand.

‘’Maybe.. your lab?’’

‘’M-My lab?’’

‘’Yes, your lab. There’s a ton of books there, right? On numerous cases. There’s no way there’s not one about the Zodiac Killer, given how well known his case is. Kokichi must have seen the code there. And I guess that’s what he meant by ‘You’re a detective, you can surely manage’. We should go there immediately.’’

Shuichi nodded several times, and quickly put his jacket on, exiting the room with Maki, and heading towards the Ultimate Detective’s Lab. But as they were about to turn towards their destination’s final hallway, they run into someone. The last thing they wanted right now, questions.

‘’S-Shuichi.  Maki!’’ Kiibo meekly smiled at them. ‘’Is.. everything alright?’’ Kiibo and the other remaining students found out about Kaito early in the morning, while Shuichi was still asleep. So concern was visible on his face.

‘’O-Oh. Kiibo. It’s just you.’’ Shuichi replied. Maki coughed impatiently, and glared towards Shuichi.

‘’Y-Yea, everything’s fine. N-No need to worry. We’re just.. in a hurry. Sorry.’’

Kiibo looked away with a seemingly sorrowful smile. ‘’O-Oh, of course. I didn’t mean to bother you.’’

Maki grabbed Shuichi’s arm, and started pacing away from him, towards his lab.

‘’S-Sorry Kiibo!’’

After reaching the lab, and entering it, they both started searching the books around, in a hurry to find the right one.

‘’You shouldn’t talk to others, at least for now. Remember? ‘Wrong hands’. ‘’ Maki said, as she leaned on her toes, grabbing a book high on a shelf.

‘’I-I know. I’m sorry. Though I doubt Kiibo is our enemy.’’ Shuichi noticed a large black tome, and pulled it out. He gasped once he saw the book’s title. ‘The Zodiac Killer Case’.

‘’M-Maki, I found it!’’

They sat down, and opened the book, quickly flipping the pages, searching for an explanation for the code. Until they finally found it. The book explained how a couple had sat down one night, and deciphered the code together. Below the article, was a black and white picture, which matched letters of the alphabet to the Zodiac’s symbols. Exactly what they were searching for. Maki took Kokichi’s letter in her hand, and quickly matched the letters, finally reaching a conclusion.

_‘My lab. Fourth light.’_

‘’That’s what it says.’’

‘’K-Kokichi’s lab? W-We’ve never been there. And since he’s..since he’s..’’ Shuichi shook his head. ‘’Since he’s gone.. we can’t enter.’’

‘’We’ll find a way. And I know just who can help us.’’ Maki stood up, and once more, grabbed Shuichi by his arm and run outside.

 


	7. Hope

‘’M-Maki, wait!’’ Shuichi was having trouble keeping up with the assassin’s pace, as always. ‘’And just j-just who are we searching f-‘’

Shuichi came to a halt next to the female, as they stood outside a lab. It was not the lab he expected to be in front of, though.

‘I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking. And.. he won’t like it. A-At all.’’

Maki rubbed the bridge of her nose. ‘’I know. But it’s the only way.’’

* * *

‘’Y-You want me to blow up Kokichi’s lab?!’’ Kiibo jumped backwards, raising his hands up in defense while wearing a visibly shocked expression.

‘’Not the whole lab. Just the door, so we can enter. Monokuma isn’t going to do it, so you’re the only way.’’ Maki explained, her hands crossed and resting on her chest.

‘’B-B-But isn’t that against the Academy’s rules..?’’ the robot meekly asked once more, fear now taking over his expression. Shuichi replied this time, answering before Maki could form a reply.

‘’N-Not really. I don’t think it’s against the rules.. I mean the rules clearly state this; ‘ _Students have free rein to explore the Ultimate Academy as they see fit_.’ And the only rule against using manpower, is against Monokuma himself..not the facility.’’

‘’Exactly.’’ Maki now added. ‘’And even if Monokuma won’t open the lab himself, there’s no rule forbidding us from breaking in.’’

‘’S-Still..’’ Kiibo looked away in concern. ‘’You haven’t forgotten about my limitations, have you? I do not possess the strength to do such a thing!’’ As if knowing what each other were thinking, both Maki and Shuichi turned their heads towards a specific set of equipment hanging on the wall of the Ultimate Robot’s bad. Then, they both turned towards Kiibo, who immediately caught up on their thinking.

‘’Oh no.’’

‘’K-Kiibo, please listen-‘’

‘’I am not listening! Why do I have to do this? What do you even have to gain by accessing Kokichi’s lab? His trial is long over, isn’t it?’’ Shuichi felt his chest hurt, and clenched the fabric of his jacket over his heart.

‘’Look, we don’t have time for this. You need to help us. This is important.’’

‘’H-How is it important?’’

Maki looked away in a glare. She didn’t want to say any more than this. The information that Shuichi shared with her was very sensitive. And they couldn’t just trust anyone in there, and risk falling in the mastermind’s hands. ‘’We can’t really explain how. At least not now.’’

Kiibo suddenly took an offensive stance, and pointed towards his two classmates. ‘’You ask for my help, yet still won’t explain to me what is going on? Isn’t that kind of.. s-selfish of you?’’

‘’We really don’t have time for-‘’

‘’Maki, it’s fine.’’

Maki looked shocked as she stared at Shuichi, when the latter searched his jacket’s pocket, and took out Kokichi’s letter. He handed it towards Kiibo, with a firm look in his eyes. The robot reluctantly took it, and begun carefully reading. Maki immediately wanted to retaliate against this decision, but the firm look in Shuichi’s eyes convinced her otherwise. Kiibo finished reading the letter, and looked back at Shuichi with a confused yet serious look.

‘’A code?’’

‘’We decoded it earlier together. The second letter is in Kokichi’s lab. That’s why we need to enter.’’ Kiibo silently folded the letter, and handed it back at Shuichi. After a brief silence, he spoke once more.

‘’..Thank you Shuichi. For trusting me with this, I mean. It really means a lot.’’ He then let out a frustrated sigh, and offered both his classmates a warm smile. ‘’I will help you.’’

* * *

‘’You might want to step back.’’ Kiibo warned, his voice slightly muffled behind the metal part of his suit covering his mouth. Maki and Shuichi walked a fair distance back, and watched as Kiibo swiftly transformed his right arm into a menacing looking canon, channeling energy and aiming towards the lab’s door.

‘’How did you even find Kokichi’s lab? I was sure it was the only one we’d never see.’’

Maki sighed. ‘’Well, the night Kaito..left, I walked around a lot during the night. In between checking up on you, of course. I’m pretty sure it was pure luck that I came across it before this. I wasn’t sure whose lab it was at first, but since Kokichi’s lab was the only one that still remained hidden, I figured this was it.’’

Suddenly a loud blast was heard, that echoed around the hallway, as debris flew towards every direction. Not far enough to reach the two students, who took enough precautions. ‘’We can enter now.’’ Kiibo’s voice was heard from the distance next to the lab’s now broken down door.

Walking inside the lab, and despite being quite shocked by the ridiculous layout, Shuichi’s attention was immediately drawn towards the ceiling, that was covered in a row of lamps. Counting from the one closest to the entrance, he locked sight with the fourth lamp.

‘’It’s..there. All the way up to the ceiling. How are we going to r-reach it?’’ he wondered, his hand unconsciously moving towards his chin, a usual habit of his. Kiibo followed Shuichi’s line of sight, and aimed his arm towards the fourth lamp.

‘’K-Kiibo, wait-!’’

Kiibo fired his right arm once more, but this time instead of a canon’s blast, a thin laser, no wider than a usual pen was blasted, and successfully broke the lamp. The three students watched as broken glass fell down around them, along with a single piece of paper. The detective kneeled down and picked it up, finding another envelope, with the inscription ‘’To Saihara-chan!’’ once more.

‘’Maybe we shouldn’t read it here.’’ Maki suggested. ‘’The sound of us breaking in was loud enough to attract attention from the others. Maybe they will be here soon.’’

‘’Y-You’re right. Where should we go?’’ Shuichi questioned the female, but Kiibo took the liberty of answering.

‘’Maybe the rooftop?’’ Maki quickly nodded. ‘’That can work. Let’s go.’’

After a short walk and reaching the rooftop, all three of them sat down on the roof’s floor, and Shuichi took out the envelope, slowly opening it. Reading a letter from Kokichi in a place that he used to enjoy spending time with the latter was painful to say the least, but Shuichi knew he had to put on his strongest front to handle this situation. So, as the others gathered around him, he took the letter out, and begun reading.

* * *

 

_ Dear Saihara-chan                                                               _

_ I see you found this letter! I’m suuuper glad! I knew you could do it! Anyways, I don’t have much time to finish writing this, cause dumb Miu will soon call us to start the whole Virtual World trip. So~, I’ll get straight to the point. This whole killing game semester was odd from the start. These flashlights were also odd to me. Upon investigation that the great Supreme Leader conducted, I’m preeeetty sure they’re fake. At least most of them, I’m certain of it. Monokuma has been slipping false memories to us, in order to act exactly the way he wants us to act. Why would he do that, you ask? Why would he need us to act in a certain way? Why would we need to follow all these rules if we’re the only people left in the world? Why a killing game, between the only survivors? To be honest, I don’t buy this. He’s definitely bluffing. Why all these rules, and regulations and details if we’re alone? Why all these monitors, these cameras? Someone is definitely watching us. Someone other than Monokuma, or the person controlling him. Someone outside. That much I can say with certainty. Dealing with the other idiots has slowed my research down quite a bit, so I’m not entirely sure who, or why. But, we’re not alone. Don’t forget that. Writing this while I’m alive, I can’t help but wonder. Who is alive, together with you at this point? If I’m dead it was probably Miu, and since you’re reading this I guess you figured out it was her. So I guess Miu is dead. Has another murder happened after mine? I hope not. Or do I? Nishishi! As I told you before, you shouldn’t trust people with this information. But given your personality you’re probably reading this with dumb old Kaito and Miss Assassin next to you! How could you do this to me, you meanie! Juuust kidding. I trusted this in your hands. It’s up to you to share it with someone you can trust. But., anyways, back to the point. What you need to do, is have a last trial. At least in my opinion, that’s your best option. A last trial, a last attempt to find the Mastermind. And if my suspicions are correct, and we are indeed being watched, Monokuma won’t refuse to have one. But Kokichi, how will I find the mastermind? Is what you may ask. Well, that’s up to the Ultimate Detective to find out. Or is it? Maybe it’s just up to Shuichi Saihara! Who knows! Anyways, a good search around the school could certainly help you find clues to use in that trial. Maybe you’ll hit the jackpot! Or, maybe you won’t. But I’d like to hope that you will. I hope you’ll find something whose worth is good enough to corner the mastermind. To expose them, once and for all. I believe in you. And no, that’s not a lie.  _

_ Lately, I’ve been having nightmares. I haven’t talked to you about it, because I don’t want you to think that the Supreme Leader is weak! Well, that’s a lie. I just don’t want to worry you. Or upset you, actually. I’ve been dreaming about Kaede. Weird, right? I don’t know why, but her murder is the one that’s harder for me to take in. Not because I had any kind of relationship with her, like you did. But, for other reasons. I’m sure you know what I’m referring to. Am I over thinking this? Could I actually be right? Well, I’d never know. But you will.  _

_ Sadly, that’s all the time I had. I wish I could write more, it’s actually quite enjoyable to write to you! But I’ll see you in a few minutes, which will have to compensate I guess. I couldn’t find the truth. I hope you will. I know it. Any little faith I had left, I put it all in you. Don’t let it go to waste, or I’ll haunt you! Really! Nishishi!     _

_                                                                                     Love you,   _

_                                                                                     Kokichi.           _

* * *

 

 

Shuichi noticed a single drop falling on the last few words on the letter, the purple ink slowly seeping into the paper and fading away.

‘’..Are you okay?’’ Maki’s voice seemed like a whisper, barely audible to the detective.

‘’Huh? I’m..fine.’’ Shuichi replied, turning towards her.

‘’You’re crying.’’

Shuichi blinked several times, and raised a hand towards his face, feeling the wet skin of his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying just until someone else pointed it out. He quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

‘’D-Don’t worry about it. R-Really.’’

Kiibo looked skeptical after finishing the letter, and suddenly stood up, at the same time with Maki.

‘’W-Where are we going?’’ Shuichi quietly asked, still on the ground.

‘’Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to call everyone and search the school.’’

‘’Call everyone..?’’

Shuichi thought about the assassin’s statement. But the mastermind is between them. Why would they ask everyone to search together, and literally reveal their plan to the mastermind? Was this.. a trap? A trap, to find the mastermind in their mistake? A miscalculation? He stood up next to his classmates, all three with a confident look in their eyes.

‘’I understand. Let’s go.’’

* * *

 

Shuichi stared at the screen in front of him, the countdown slowly coming closer to zero by every second that passed. One by one, he looked at the pictures of himself and all his classmates, dead or alive. The voting time had reached the 10 second mark by now, but Shuichi made no move to cast a vote. He looked at his own picture, the picture of Kaede, and lastly, as the timer hit zero, Kokichi’s fading picture. It was all over. Nobody had voted. And by rule, everyone would be executed. But Shuichi smiled anyway. This was for the best. They had managed to achieve their goal. Find the mastermind, and learn the truth. Even if the truth hurt. It hurt a lot. Realizing everything he knew up to his point was a lie, was a devastating blow. Learning that so many people he trusted, and cared about, died in vain, was horrible, to say the least. He shook his head. No. It wasn’t in vain. Nobody died in vain. They reached the end. The game known as Danganronpa ended. He looked as Kiibo flew upwards, and blasted his canons around the academy, effectively beginning its destruction. It was all, finally over. He looked next to him, were the last survivors were standing. Maki, who looked at him with a smile, Himiko, who yawned but still smiled, and Gonta, who was quietly sobbing. He didn’t utter a single word during the trial, but still followed Shuichi, and refused to vote. Shuichi smiled, as he saw Kiibo aiming his arm towards them on the ground. Kiibo offered a smile back, as he shot away, and at the same time, pressed a button on his chest.

It was over.


	8. Dawn

He slowly opened his eyes, but felt his surrounding’s light blinding him, and was forced to close them once more. A round of whispers was heard all around him, and the next time he opened his eyes, he found out that the brightness had been significantly reduced, now able to see around him with squinted eyes. He was in a bed, and he saw that he was on drip, the bottle upside down next to him on a stand. Was he sick? He could now see that a number of doctors were the sources of the whispers, all inspecting him in great detail.

‘’He’s awake.’’ He heard them declare. _Awake?_ He searched his memory, trying to find answers. He remembered Kiibo, and his smile. He closed his eyes once more, as more and more memories flooded into his mind. Murders, trials, executions. He remembered everything, his heart beat suddenly rising sky high. He opened his mouth, intending to scream, but no sound was heard. Everything turned black, once more.

* * *

 

 

‘’He’s awake again.’’

Shuichi opened his eyes once more, and turned towards a female in a doctor’s robe sitting next to him.

‘’Good morning.’’ She simply said, a worried smile on her lips.

‘’..good morning.’’ Shuichi replied, his voice no louder than a whisper.

‘’Do you know who you are?’’

_Who I am..?_

‘’Shuichi Saihara.’’ The female now offered him a wider smile, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

‘’Do you remember what happened?’’

Shuichi looked away from the doctor, inspecting the room. Everything around him seemed white, determining he was in a hospital room. He did remember what happened. He remembered every bit of it.

‘’How.. am I alive?’’

The doctor looked confused, as if he just asked the stupidest question in the world. ‘’You guys ask the same questions, you know. But you were among the last few, right? You knew it was all fiction. Why are you surprised you are alive?’’

Shuichi didn’t reply, just blinked a few times, and looked away, as the doctor went on with her explanation. So it was really, all a game. Just a simulation. Nothing more, nothing less. He suddenly gasped, and jumped upwards.

‘’T-Then, everyone else is-!’’

‘’Woah there!’’ the doctor rose up, and held him firmly from his shoulders in place. ‘’Calm down, Saihara-kun. You’re going to rip your drip at this point. There’s no need to worry. Everyone is fine.’’

‘’S-So they’re a-alive..?’’

The doctor smiled brightly, raising her shoulders slightly. ‘’Of course they are. Most of them are already awake and walking. You and the last few that reached the end are still bedridden, of course. You’re in a hospital that associates with Dangan Ronpa’s producers, so you don’t have to worry about anything. We will take care of you for now.’’

Shuichi couldn’t believe his ears. He tried to remain calm, but his enthusiasm had already taken the better of him. ‘’C-Can I see them?’’

‘’You are certainly livelier than the rest. Most of them remained in denial, you know. I’m glad you’re making such progress!’’ she sat down once more, her hands folded in her lap. ‘’Of course you can see them. Everyone was very excited to be reunited with the others. But before that.. we need to talk about something.’’

Shuichi didn’t speak, letting the doctor continue on. ‘’We need to talk about your memories. As you know, the game implanted fake memories to you, memories that you still have, even if you know they’re fake. You still consented to this, so now we have to ask for your consent once more.’’

‘’M-My consent?’’ Shuichi was confused, failing to follow the doctor’s implications.

‘’Your consent, on the matter of returning your previous memories to you.’’ The boy was shocked, to say the least. He could regain his old memories? He could be..himself again? His mind travelled back to his audition video, that revealed his true character once and for all. Did he want to be that person? Would keeping his current memories a better choice? But what about his home, his friends, his family?

‘’U-Um.. the others..what have they done..? On this matter, I mean.’’

‘’Oh. They all regained their memories.’’

‘’I..see.’’ So they all chose their previous selves.

‘’Oh, but don’t worry. You will still remember the events of the game, exactly the way you remember them right now. So, if you made friends inside the game, you won’t lose them, if that’s what’s worrying you.’’

‘’I-It’s..not. But thank you. I’ll need.. to think about this..if it's alright.’’

‘’Oh, of course!’’ the doctor rose to her feet once more. ‘’I’ll leave you be for now, since you seem perfectly stable. I’ll be back soon to check on you, alright?’’ she glanced once more at the large monitor next to Shuichi’s bed, and after confirming that everything was alright, she exited the room, leaving Shuichi alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about the audition tapes. His, Kaede’s, and Kaito’s. Two of the closest friends he had ever gained. He was disgusted with them. But mainly, he was disgusted with himself. How could the person he saw on that screen really be him? How could someone be so cruel, heartless, emotionless? How could he just-

Suddenly, a knocking was heard on his door. Was the doctor back?

‘’C-Come in.’’ he weakly replied. But when the visitor opened the door and walked inside, he simply couldn’t believe his eyes. It was a young woman, with blond hair, wearing a simple blue dress, making her look like the world’s most beautiful person in Shuichi’s eyes. The woman offered him a sweet smile, at the same time as Shuichi jumped upwards, barely able to hold back his tears.

‘’K-Kaede!’’ The female ran towards him, and swiftly wrapped her arms around the boy, a warm hug shared mutually between them. Soon the female began crying, her tears seeping into Shuichi’s hospital gown. After a long while, they broke apart from each other, the female sitting next to the bed. For a few more minutes they simply looked at each other, bright smiles on both faces.

‘’So..How are you feeling?’’ the female finally broke the silence.

‘’O-Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m.. a little confused, from the whole…situation, b-but I’ll manage.’’

‘’I know how that feels.’’ The woman replied, nodding her head in approval and understanding. ‘’I was the second to wake up, after all. And when they tried to explain what was happening..I didn’t believe them.’’ She was now looking away from the boy, a sad look in her eyes. ‘’I screamed, and cried, and ran. I was out of my mind. But then.. I ran into Rantaro. I thought I was delusional. That my guilt had taken over me. But then he smiled, like he always did, and walked up to me. He hugged me for a good five minutes, and I was just standing there, confused.’’

‘’That’s..rough.’’

The female giggled slightly. ‘’It wasn’t that bad. After that me and Rantaro started spending a lot of time together. We talked, and talked, and talked. It really helped both of us make great progress, according to the doctors. And we got.. very close, in the meanwhile.’’ A blush spread across her cheeks unconsciously, one that Shuichi noticed and smiled at her.

‘’I’m very glad to hear that.’’

The woman smiled back, and after a brief stop, continued her story. ‘’Then, suddenly, more and more students started coming. Some within hours of each other, some within days. Me and Rantaro were ready to be discharged, but decided to stay and help the others as well. But before that, we got our old memories back.’’

‘’About that.. they asked me to decide on whether I wanted them back or not.’’ Shuichi finally added, still skeptical on the matter.

Kaede thought about it for a second, then decided to go ahead and ask. ‘’Would you like my opinion?’’

‘’O-Oh, of course.’’

‘’You should get them back. It will help you so much. Really. I was reluctant to get them back.. especially after they showed me my audition tape. But I couldn’t continue living on a fake reality. I had to remember everything, even if I didn’t like it. And I’ve come to peace with it, really. I’m a changed person, from everything I experienced in the game.’’

‘’..I see.’’ Shuichi slightly nodded. She was right. He couldn’t just run away from reality. He had to face himself, and try to become better.

‘’If it makes you feel better, guess what; We were friends before the game!’’ She said, offering him a wide smile.

‘’W-We were?! No wonder I thought I knew you when I first saw you..’’

Kaede nodded with her usual grin. ‘’Yup, we were friends. With Kaito as well!’’

‘’K-Kaito? I knew him?’’ Shuichi was shocked by the sudden revelations.

‘’You knew him? You two were best friends!’’ Shuichi smiled. Kaede had really made him changed his mind about the whole memories thing. And knowing that he knew both her and Kaito even before the game..filled him with determination. He asked about Kaito’s well being, and Kaede narrated than when he woke up he started a fight with the doctors, and his denial was the worst out of everyone.

‘’Well..Mostly everyone. But Kaito's alright now. He will be discharged soon. He said he will come soon to see you. He stopped at another student before you.. If you know what I mean.’’ She said, and winked at him.

Shuichi smiled. ‘’So Maki is awake as well. I’m glad. But.. what did you mean, ‘mostly everyone’?’’

‘’Well..’’ Kaede once more looked away. ‘’Honestly, someone else had the worst reaction. Especially after seeing their audition tape, they became simply enraged. They haven’t been discharged yet, because of the physical damage they sustained in the game, their body is still not in synch with reality. But also because of..psychological reasons.’’

‘’..Who..are you talking about?’’

‘’…Kokichi.’’

Shuichi felt his chest hurt once more. Kokichi Ouma. Of course, he was alive as well. He had woken up before him, and faced everything by himself. Who knows how he felt this whole time.

‘’Kokichi is the only one.. to refuse to get his memories back. One glance at his audition, and he straight up refused to even talk about this matter, despite the doctors trying to explain the importance of his memories.’’ Kaede continued a pained look on her face.

‘’Why..would he refuse?’’

Kaede let out a soft sigh, and with her hand swiftly removed any strains on her dress before speaking. ‘’You see.. Kokichi had a rough life. Before the game, I mean. I know about it, because.. well, I knew him even before the game. Both me and Kaito did. And of course, so did you.’’

_…what?_

Kaede continued, not letting Shuichi ask any questions. ‘’Kokichi..was.. bullied, to say the least. If we thought he had it rough in the game.. that was nothing. I-I don’t want to say any more, though. I.. didn’t mean to gossip. But he had some serious trouble, before the game. With others..and himself, if.. if you know what I mean.’’

Shuichi’s mind travelled to the night he was sitting next to Kokichi in the latter’s room, and seeing the numerous scars and cuts across the boy’s body. ‘’I..I understand.’’

Before any more could be said, the doctor from before returned, smiling brightly once she saw the female. ‘’Oh, Akamatsu-san! It’s nice to see you!’’

‘’Good evening Miss.’’ Kaede smiled, as she stood up. ‘’Well, I’ll go check up on the others. We can talk at dinner later, alright Shuichi?’’ The latter smiled at her, and nodded his head a number of times, as the blonde exited the room.

‘’So, Saihara-kun. Did you get to think about the matter we talked on earlier?’’

Shuichi nodded once more. ‘’Y-Yes, I did. And.. I’d like my memories back.’’

‘’Oh! Lovely! And don’t worry about it at all, it won’t be painful or anything. Modern medicine does wonders. The only thing needed is a simple injection. Your memories were stored in a simple liquefied solution. That’s evolution for you!’’ Shuichi nodded, as the woman briefly left, and shortly after returned. She swiftly pulled the boy’s hair away from his neck, and pointed the needle towards the smooth skin, just after cleaning the area with ointment.

‘’Ready when you are.’’ She declared, with a smile.

Shuichi took a deep breath, and smiled softly.

‘’I’m ready.’’


	9. Dusk

The room was dark. The windows were closed shut, and the curtains were drawn, even if it was night outside. The only source of light was a small candle sitting on a nightstand, next to the hospital’s bed. The said bed however, was empty. In the middle of the room, a boy was sitting on a wheelchair. A notebook was laying on his lap, and he was furiously scribbling illegible lines, and lines, and lines of text. He looked frustrated, his brows were furrowed, and his mouth was closed in a thin line, as the sound of clattering could be heard from his teeth. As he was writing, his line of sight was aimed towards his wrist, were several old cuts could be seen. That sight only aggravated him more, as he suddenly ripped the page out of the notebook, tearing it into pieces before throwing them away. Then, he continued writing away. After a short time, however, a knocking on the room’s door interrupted him. He chose to ignore the knock, but ultimately stopped writing, simply staring into the pages. A knocking sound was heard again, and was followed by a quiet, yet gentle voice.

‘’..Kokichi?’’

The purple haired boy once more ignored his visitor. However, after a few seconds, the door was opened, and a blonde female walked inside, closing the door behind her. She weakly smiled towards the boy, who had now turned towards her.

‘’..Hello.’’ she said, with the same gentle voice.

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, glaring menacingly at his visitor.

‘’Didn’t I tell you **never** to come here again?’’

‘’I-I know’’ she said, as she looked away, ‘’But I thought you might wanted to talk-‘’

‘’ _Talk?_  ’’ he spat back at her. ‘’Why would I want to talk to _you?_ Or that idiot Kaito? Both of you keep coming here, wanting to talk. But you just want closure for your own selfishness. You just want to feel better. But, oh too bad. I won’t give you that closure.’’ He now turned away from her.

‘’..Kokichi, listen. I know you chose to not receive your memories, but I-I still told you about… your past, a-and what we all did to you, because you deserved to know. I want us to be friends, now that everything’s over, and i-it wouldn’t be right of me to not.. reveal that. I just want to apologize. I want to become better, better than what I was in the past. I’m sure Kaito feels the same way.’’

Kaede didn’t receive a reply, as the boy in front of her looked lost in thought. When she started thinking that she had finally gotten through to him, Kokichi spoke once more.

‘’Get out.’’

A sad frown was spread on the female’s face. ‘’L-Look we just-‘’

‘’Get. **Out**. And if you, or that Kaito, ever come in here again, I don’t know myself what I’m gonna do. But, you will surely not like it.’’

The woman had nothing more to say. She looked angry, and frustrated. She wanted to yell at the boy, and throw cruel words towards him. After all, since she had regained her memories, past characteristics had returned. However, she decided against this. With steps as quiet as the ones she walked inside, she exited the room, shutting the door closed behind her.

The boy was left alone once more. Once more, he glanced towards his wrists, and his naked legs, under the pure white baggy shorts he was wearing. He was furious. His thoughts went back to the day he first woke up in this place. Slowly opening his eyes, and coming face to face with a number of doctors, all staring at him as some kind of rare specimen. As the doctor’s tried explaining the whole ordeal to him, the only thing on his mind was the headache that was torturing him. He was, listening though. He was listening in great detail, realizing that he was right. That his suspicions were, in fact, correct. He felt vindicated. The doctors also explained how since he was killed by a blow to the head, his brain had suffered temporary after-effects, including damage to several nerves. Some of these nerves affected his ability to move his legs. The doctors, however, insisted that it will only be temporary. After a few check-ups, a young woman, a doctor, presumably, visited him, and revealed that he could get his old memories back. He was confused, but understood the situation. At first, he agreed. Then, the woman volunteered to show him his audition video, so he could get an idea of how things were before. That troubled Kokichi. Why would she simply suggest that, out of the blue? A small screen was placed on his legs, as he laid sat on the bed, and shortly after hitting the play button, the woman exited the room, leaving him alone. Kokichi found that suspicious, but began watching.

 

The point of view was strangely aimed towards a chair, seemingly in the center of the room. At the bottom right of the screen, a few red letters stated ‘Audition #621’. For a few seconds, nothing changed. But after a while, the sound of a door being opened, and then closed was heard. Footsteps approached the camera, and suddenly, a small figure dressed in black slowly sat down in the chair. The figure, a boy, looked upwards towards the camera, his expression visibly nervous, and uncomfortable. Kokichi recognized the boy in the screen, as none other, than himself. The boy on the chair had his hands crossed in his lap, and was quietly fidgeting with his fingers, until a voice was heard.

‘’Well, feel free to introduce yourself, and why do you wish to participate in the next season of Dangan Ronpa.’’

The boy looked upwards once more, a timid look on his face, his mouth softly trembling in place. Kokichi was shocked. Was that really him? The boy in the screen, as if reading his thoughts, confirmed his questions.

‘’M-My name is..Kokichi Ouma. I-I want to participate.. in the next season of Dangan Ronpa because..’’

Kokichi was staring into the screen, his eyes motionless, and not even blinking. Following that introduction, the apparent committee behind the camera asked several questions, such as if he was a fan of the series, if he had read and agreed to the rules of participation, and lastly, if he had a Talent in mind for himself, or if there was anything noteworthy about him. The boy spoke quiet and soft words. He admitted to having watched every season of the series, and was a big fan of it. That’s a lie. Kokichi thought. And an obvious one, as well. He explained that he wouldn’t mind if they decided his talent, and that there was nothing noteworthy about him. The only thing that he added, though, was that he was a terrible liar. The committee thanked the boy, and the video cut off, as the boy lowered his head with a sad look in his eyes.

 

Kokichi was now left staring at his reflection, on the black screen in front of him. At that moment, the female doctor returned, and asked if he had finished watching the tape. Kokichi handed the device back to her, and spoke.

‘’I changed my mind. I don’t want my memories back.’’

‘’Y-You don’t?’’

‘’No.’’

After that, Kokichi laid down on the bed, and covered himself with the sheets. After a bit, the doctor decided to leave. And the same day, Kaede visited him. And everything took a turn for the worse.

He opened his eyes, staring once more at the notebook on his bare legs. He had decided to start writing down his thoughts, thinking that it would help calm him down. But it only angered him more. Everyone wanted him to take his memories back. And he hated that. He figured that everyone had seen his audition tape, and after realizing that Kokichi Ouma was a weak, helpless loser before the killing game, they would much prefer that side of him from the one he had now. But, he wasn’t going to remember his past. The day he auditioned, he had made his choice. He realized that, after watching the tape. He rolled his wheelchair closer to the wall, where a small mirror was pinned. He stared at his reflection, and his reflection stared back.

_You wanted to change, didn’t you?_

_Well._

**This is you now.**

 

 

A knock was heard.

He glared towards the door, and waited, until another knock was heard. In a fit of anger, he clenched the notebook in his hand, and threw it towards the door with all his might, as sheets of paper flew towards every direction, and the loud sound of the impact with the door was heard.

‘’I told you never to fucking come here again! What didn’t you understand?!’’ They boy yelled, and softly panted, trying to calm his heartbeat. He held the wheels of his chairs, about to move towards the bed, when another, softer knock was heard on the door, along with a voice he didn’t realize at first.

‘’…Can I come in?’’

The boy was confused. The voice was familiar, but among his anger, couldn’t bring himself to identify it. The sound of the door’s handle being turned was heard, and the door slowly swung open.

Kokichi was left staring at the door, where a boy, wearing simple black pants and a white shirt was standing, a gentle smile on his lips. The purple haired male raised his hands against his own eyes, and swiftly rubbed them, clearing his vision, and looked back towards the door. He was met, with the same gentle smile. The male walked towards Kokichi, and stopped right in front of him, before kneeling to the ground, in order for their line of sight to be closer.

‘’…’’

Kokichi opened his mouth, but no words came out. His vision started becoming blurry, and he opened his mouth once more. This time, a soft whisper managed to escape his lips.

‘’…Saihara-chan?’’

The boy in front of him now brightly grinned, and lunged himself towards Kokichi, wrapping the smaller male in a warm hug. Kokichi blinked several times, and his vision was cleared up, as several tears fell from his face, rolling down his cheeks and seeping into the other boy’s shirt. Slowly, he raised his hands, and wrapped them around the other male’s back. They simply stayed like that for a few minutes, that, however, felt like hours. Kokichi had finally calmed down, and seemingly was back to his ‘usual ’ self. He slowly let go of the boy in front of him, but still tightly held his hand.

‘’When did you wake up?’’ Kokichi spoke up once more, his eyes glued to the person in front of him.

‘’J-Just this morning. I’m still a little lightheaded..But I-I wanted, you know. To see you. I-If that’s alright..?’’ Shuichi said, his voice now sounding like music to Kokichi’s ears.

‘’Nishishi. Of course it’s alright. I always have time for my beloved!’’ Shuichi smiled, but Kokichi noticed that the smile looked weak, so he slightly tilted his head in confusion. ‘’Is something wrong?’’

Shuichi looked away with a frown. He looked..sad. Disappointed, even. And it didn’t take long, before Kokichi put two and two together.

‘’..I-‘’

‘’You got your memories back.’’ Kokichi said. Or more like, declared. Shuichi looked away and softly sighed, but overall nodded.

‘’Yes..I did. I also heard you..didn’t.’’

Kokichi looked at his nails seemingly indifferently. ‘’Yup. I didn’t.’’

‘’Is there.. a reason for that?’’ Shuichi meekly asked. However, Kokichi crossed his arms over his chest, and looked towards Shuichi with narrowed eyes.

‘’You’d know why, wouldn’t you? You remembered after all.’’

Shuichi opened his mouth, but ended up being silent. Eventually, though, he spoke. '’I..-‘’

But once more, Kokichi didn’t let him finish.

‘’Is that why you came here? I thought the game had changed you. But I guess not. Did you come here to continue where you left off?’’

Shuichi took a step backwards, and stood up, his hands raised in self-defense. ‘’W-What? No! I just-‘’

‘’So you, Kaede and Kaito all didn’t have enough of roughin’ me up back then, huh? I don’t have my memories back, but given your audition tape, and what Kaede told me, I figured you enjoyed every last minute of it, didn’t you?’’

‘’K-Kokichi, calm down! I would never-‘’

Kokichi however, slammed his hand on the wheelchair’s handle, the metallic sound of impact echoing around the room. ‘’Well!- Too bad! The Kokichi you knew is long gone. He’s dead! And will never come back!’’

Shuichi now furrowed his brow, and clenched his fists. ‘’Why are you doing this?! You know this is not who you really are! You can’t keep lying forever, Kokichi. Not to us, and certainly not to yourself!’’

Kokichi let out a sarcastic laugh, accompanied by a snort. ‘’Oh, this is no lie. I wanted this. This lie, this change. I wanted it. I hated being weak. I hated being stepped upon. That’s exactly why I auditioned for this god forsaken game. You think I enjoyed this sickening piece of shit game? You think I was as twisted and cruel as you and the rest of your group? Of course not! I was revolted! One look at my audition tape and I could tell!’’

‘’None of this matters anymore!’’ Shuichi hadn’t realized he had raised his voice significantly by now, an old habit of his. ‘’That was in the past! It’s long over! None of this is going to continue! I-I just want you to find closure with yourself. Kaede informed me of your state before I came here. I was simply worried!’’

‘’My. State? My state? ’’ he repeated. ‘’Is that your idea of me? A broken, weak, sick child, right? Nothing different from the past, right?’’

‘’Stop thinking like that! Stop thinking that everyone is against you! We just want to help-‘’

‘’Of course you do. But unfortunately for you, _Shuichi_ , I don’t need your help. Not anymore. When I did need it, you didn’t offer it. None of you did. Now it’s useless. I’ve changed. Everything has changed.'' He slightly shook his head in disgust, and continued. ''But you just  **had** to take your goddamn memories back and ruin it all, didn't you?''

Shuichi’s fists were now shaking in anger, and felt himself about to explode in a fit of anger, and throw every kind of harsh words to the boy sitting in front of him. As he always did. He shook his head and sighed, calming himself down. No. He wasn’t that person anymore. He decided that the moment he agreed to receive his previous memories.

‘’..Leave.’’

Shuichi turned towards Kokichi with his mouth slowly parted in shock. But Kokichi was staring away from him.

‘’K-Kokichi, I-‘’

The boy didn’t repeat his words. He simply looked towards Shuichi, with an indescribable look. A look of anger, sorrow, frustration. A look filled with despair. Kokichi’s hands were softly trembling, and Shuichi could discern tears forming in the other boy’s eyes, threatening to spill any second.

‘’…’’ Shuichi didn’t say anything. He turned towards the door with slow, silent steps, and turned the handle.

‘’..I should have expected this. I don’t know why I thought you could change.’’

As he exited the room, these words straight up stabbed him through his heart. These words. The same exact words he spat to Kokichi, the last time he saw him face to face before the killing game. These few words, broke his heart into a million pieces. He slowly begun making his way back to his hospital’s room, when he passed in front of seemingly another patient’s room. The light was turned off, but a sound could be faintly heard, coming from inside. The sound of crying. The sound of a gross sobbing, and attempts to muffle it down. A, strangely, familiar sound. Gonta..?

He touched the handle, and was about to turn it, when he decided against it. Gonta had probably received his memories, and contrary with the others, was probably disgusted with his actions in the game. Even if nobody blamed him, he still blamed himself. Shuichi decided against entering, and thought that leaving the man alone to think was the best choice.

But as it turned out, it was the worst.

* * *

 

 

Shuichi was sleeping through his headache, when a sudden and fast-paced knock tore him wide awake. Without talking, Kaede entered, and quickly sat down besides Shuichi’s bed.

‘’K-Kaede? What’s wrong?’’

Now closer than before, he could make out the horrified look in Kaede’s eyes, along with a stream of tears running down her face. Shuichi sat up on the bed, and quickly took hold of both of her hands in his, realizing that they were cold, and trembling.

‘’What happened?’’ He asked once more, trying his best not to pressure the woman, but at the same time understand the situation.

‘’….G-Gonta.’’

Shuichi blinked several times in confusion. ‘’G-Gonta? Did something happen to him?’’ He felt his heartbeat rise, and his hands were now sweating, as he saw Kaede shed more, and more tears.

‘’..T-They found him..in his room.’’ The female softly whispered.

‘’F-Found him?’’

The female’s silence forced Shuichi to realize what she was trying to say. He now jumped off the bed, and kneeled next to Kaede.

‘’Y-You mean…? Did someone-‘’

Kaede rapidly shook her head, a painful expression on her face.

‘’…He did it.. Himself.’’

Shuichi felt his knees give out, and fell down, his back hitting the bed’s side frame. He was simply staring into Kaede’s tightly closed eyes, filled with grief. His mind suddenly travelled back to his last moments in the killing game, and to his thoughts. It was over. That was what he thought back then.

_But apparently, nothing was over._


	10. Recollection

Kokichi slowly opened his eyes. His looked towards the room’s windows, where even with the curtains drawn, dawn’s bright light was now illuminating the room. It had to be around six, or seven am. He preferred to wake up early, and visit the hospital’s cafeteria while everyone else was still asleep. He had grown used to peaceful and calm mornings, eating in silence and alone. If it wasn’t for eating, he probably wouldn’t even leave his room until the day he got discharged. He sat up, and with clumsy moves managed to move on the wheelchair placed next to bed. Calling a nurse for tasks like these was a given, but not for him. He didn’t need anybody.

Slowly he rolled his wheelchair to the door, turned the handle, and backed away in order to open it. He exited, and pulled the door shut as he moved away at the same time. His room has at the end of the hallway, away from the other patients’ rooms. He preferred it like that. He rolled towards the elevator as quietly as he could, the chair’s wheels letting out a faint creaking noise with every push he gave. The elevator’s button was low enough for him to reach, and after a short wait, he entered, and went to the bottom floor, where the cafeteria was stationed. As he exited the elevator, he made sure to look both ways around him, making sure he was alone. He then turned right, and after a couple of more pushes of the chair, he reached his destination. The cafeteria was as simple as one would expect it to be. A lengthy ordering area behind a small wall, where an old lady was stationed, and in the front of that a few tables, with a number of chairs around them. The cafeteria’s personnel saw him approaching, and after offering him a warm smile, disappeared in the back, seemingly preparing an order. Day after day, she had memorized the boy’s breakfast. Two slices of toast, and a grape soda. Nothing more, nothing less. The usual female doctor that was appointed with overlooking the young students complained about his everyday consumption of soda, but he chose to ignore her. The drink had grown to him, even after the game. He approached the table on the far side, the one that always was out of chairs. He didn’t need one, though, so he didn’t mind. As he moved closer, however, he realized that the cafeteria wasn’t as empty as he thought it was. One of the tables away from his, was occupied. And the occupants were a familiar blonde female, and a dark haired male. The woman had her elbows on the table, with her hands supporting her face, looking down at the cup of coffee in front of her. She clearly heard him approaching, but made no sign of movement. The boy sitting opposite of her, however, glanced towards the boy in the wheelchair. They locked eyes for several seconds, before the dark haired boy slow looked away with a soft sigh. Kokichi sharply exhaled through his noise, and moved closer to his own table, where the older woman had now brought his breakfast with the same smile as before. With slow, almost mechanical moves, he began to eat. The only sounds that could be heard for several minutes, where the distant chirps of the birds outside, the slow chewing sounds of the shorter boy, and the occasional sip of the taller one’s coffee. The female made no attempts to move, talk, or touch the coffee in front of her. Kokichi saw the other male awkwardly scratch the back of his neck with the corner of his eye, and then whispering something to the female in front of him, before suddenly standing up. Kokichi sighed and rubbed his temples, as he saw him approaching his table, carrying his chair in his hands. He placed it at the opposite side of the table, and quietly sat down across of him. Kokichi decided to ignore the taller boy, simply continuing to slowly chew his breakfast. Shuichi simply stared him down, for a good couple of minutes, before finally deciding to speak.

‘’Remember… the night when we were in your room? Sitting on your bed.. In the game, I mean.’’

Kokichi once more remained silent, simply reaching for his glass of soda and taking a huge sip, before setting it back down.

‘’B-Before you asked me if I..liked you, you stayed quiet for a good while.’’ Shuichi continued, after realizing the boy wasn’t much for conversation himself. ‘’At that time, I was simply staring at you. W-Without realizing it, of course. Back then I thought.. Is he eating sufficiently? You looked so thin.’’

Kokichi noticed a small smile forming in the boy’s lips, but again, gave no reply. The smile itself was sad, a smile of reflecting good times in the past. Times that will never come again.

‘’You look even thinner now, you know? I-I’m not trying to be rude, or anything. I’m..just worried.’’ Kokichi had indeed, lost weight. The doctors said everyone did, since they remained still for so long, while in the simulation. But he figured that since he was already light, the change was more obvious on him than on others. His collarbone was extremely prominent, and if he raised his shirt his ribs were discernible, one by one. He didn’t really mind, though. His weight was the least of the problems in his mind. As he noticed Shuichi looking away, towards the blonde woman, he slightly raised his head to look at him. His eyes were puffy, with dark bags beneath them, and his hair was ruffled and unattended. He also noticed how prominent his cheekbones were, compared to how they were in the game. He simply thought, _Well, the doctors weren’t lying when they said everyone lost weight._ Shuichi turned back towards the smaller boy, and once more, locked eyes. But this time, none of them broke contact, and dark, tired eyes kept staring into purple, empty ones. Shuichi slowly opened his mouth, and his voice, no louder than a whisper, reached Kokichi’s ears.

‘’…Did you hear about..what happened..? L-Last night, I mean.’’ Kokichi slightly arched his eyebrow with an indifferent look, and once more took hold of his glass of soda.

‘’..last night..’’

As Shuichi finished his sentence, Kokichi’s grip loosened, and the glass fell on the ground, shattering into pieces as the liquid splattered around. His eyes were now wide open, and no expression other than shock was painted on his face, as he kept staring at the boy across without even blinking. Shuichi however, broke eye contact, as he stuffed his face in his own hands, his head slightly shaking left and right. Kokichi heard the blonde female cry out, suddenly stand up, and storm out of the cafeteria’s area. There was silence. Silence, that was suddenly interrupted, by an extremely off-putting chuckle. A chuckle that turned into a lifeless, empty laughter. Shuichi stared at the source of the said laughter, sitting right in front of him.

‘’…Do you find it funny?’’ Kokichi slowly stopped laughing, and raised his hand, wiping away a nonexistent tear from his eye.

‘’Funny?’’ he repeated, with a smile painted on his lips. The smile however, was short lived, as the expression on the boy’s face did a complete one-eighty, and got replaced by pure enragement. ‘’It’s **hilarious**! To be honest, I expected this would happen. Not with Gonta specifically, but it was bound to happen. I mean, you all got your memories back left and right without even thinking of what would happen. Just happily took them, thinking that everything would magically go back to normal!’’

Shuichi was left simply staring in a mix of confusion, and horror. ‘’..What are you trying to say?’’

‘’What I _am_ saying, is that none of you realized the consequences of taking your memories back. Whether it was your past, or the game, your guilt would eventually catch up to you! It’s simple logic! But, oh, right. You’re not the Ultimate Detective or something. I guess it makes sense you didn’t think about that!’’ The boy chuckled once more, raising his hands behind his head and resting on them.

‘’Is that why you don’t want your memories back?’’

The smile disappeared from the shorter boy’s face as soon as it came on. His expression was completely neutral, but only for a few seconds, before bursting into sudden laughter. ‘’Ahahahaha! What? Of course not! Why would I-‘’

‘’You can’t lie Kokichi. Especially to me. I know you, remember?’’

Kokichi’s expression was empty once more. They simply stared at each other, as if both of them were waiting for the other one to admit defeat. But none of them did, and Kokichi slammed his fist on the table.

‘’I told you before, didn’t I? The Kokichi Ouma you knew, is dead. Get it through your thick scull.’’ Kokichi backed away from the table, and starting rolling his chair away, towards the elevator, not letting the other male utter a single word back. Shuichi was left looking at the boy’s purple hair, slightly visible behind the wheelchair, as he disappeared away. He sighed, and once more, rested his face in his palms, with the only sound now, being the sounds of the birds outside.

 

After eating, he usually either wrote in his notebook, or fell asleep once more. But since his notebook was practically torn after yesterday night, he decided to simply rest again. He always had a dreamless sleep. No sweet dreams, no scary ones either. He simply drifted away. And this time, it was no different, as he closed his eyes and let his consciousness slowly fade away. At least, that’s what he thought.

* * *

He ran down the stairs, almost tripping on the last step, but still managing to regain his posture. He quickly put on his shoes, his bag hanging loosely on his shoulder, and softly muttered a few words, as he exited the house.

‘’..I’m off.’’ Who were these words aimed to? Seemingly nobody. His parents were never home. It had been at least five years since the last time he saw them, but he didn’t mind. It was better this way. They had separated when he was very young, and stayed in the same house simply for their own convenience. Constant fighting, arguing, blaming each other. That was Kokichi Ouma’s growing environment. But ever since five years ago, things had finally calmed down, and only silence lured in his house. His father sent him a specific amount of money every month, but that was it. Both his father and mother had taken separate ways, none of the two turning around to as much as glance at their son. But once more, he didn’t mind. He ate very lightly, wasn’t in need of new clothes, or any other necessities, and never got out of the house. His ‘allowance’ was more than enough. And so he went on with his life. He ran as fast as he could to his destination, which obviously, was his High School. Although there was nothing holding him back, no business for him to take care of, he always managed to leave the house at the last minute, barely arriving at school on time. Finally reaching the entrance, he slowed down, as he saw other students lazily making their way inside. Silent and invisible as he was, he simply became a part of the crowd, lost in his own thoughts and walking mindlessly ahead. Until he felt a hand grabbing his bag’s handle and pulling back with force, and thus he halted, almost falling back himself. He broke into a cold sweat, and slowly turned around, only to be met with a familiar, taller, dark haired boy. The said boy let go and right afterwards yawned, as he continued walking ahead.

‘’Good morning.’’ He said, glancing behind his shoulder at the still halted shorter male.

‘’O-Oh, g-good morning Saihara-kun!’’ Kokichi said, as he now sprinted towards the boy walking in front of him, a shy smile on his face and a light blush covering his cheeks.

‘’How do you even manage to always be late? Are you doing it on purpose?’’

‘’N-No! Of..course not.’’ _Shuichi Saihara is as sharp as ever_ , was what Kokichi thought. Did him idolizing Ultimate Detectives improve his reasoning that much? Kokichi was indeed, arriving late on purpose. He didn’t want to risk falling on someone he didn’t want on his way to the school. It had happened one too many times, after all. As they climbed the stairs together, heading towards their classroom, Shuichi yawned leisurely once more, as he stretched his arms out.

‘’So how’s that arm doing?’’

Kokichi clenched his right arm, feeling the bandage well hidden under his school uniform. ‘’I-It’s fine. You.. don’t need to w-worry about me, Saihara-kun.’’

Shuichi simply hummed in amusement, as he slid the classroom’s door open, walking inside. ‘’Sorry we’re late- Huh? The teacher still isn’t here?’’ Shuichi blinked a couple of times, as he moved towards his seat in the back of the classroom, down the middle row. He threw his bag on his desk, sitting down with a dramatic sigh.

‘’Yo! Shuichi!’’ A voice calling him from the desk next to his attracted his attention, and he switched his point of view towards the source, only to be met with the familiar face of his best friend, Kaito Momota.

‘’Hey Kaito.’’ Shuichi smiled, as he moved his chair closer to his friend’s desk. ‘’Good morning.’’

‘’Late again, huh? And you came in together with that wimp again.’’ The other male replied, as he nodded his head towards the purple haired boy sitting by the window, staring out of it with half closed eyes.

Shuichi glanced towards the window, scratching the back of his head slightly. ‘’Well I can’t help it if he follows me, you know?’’

Kokichi clenched his fists, as a bolt of pain ran through his chest. _Follow..? Weren’t you the one who approached me..?_ He kept silent though. As always.

‘’So he’s still annoying you?’’ Kaito said with an angry look on his face, as he cracked his knuckles. ‘’Guess he didn’t learn his lesson yet.’’

Shuichi moved away from the boy next to him, as the teacher entered the classroom and everyone stood up. ‘’Calm down Kaito. You’re gonna get in trouble if you keep doing this.’’ They sat down again, and Shuichi quietly continued. ‘’That’s just friendly advice.’’

Kaito laughed with a smirk painted on his face. ‘’I’m not worried. What is he gonna do? Tell on me? Just look at him. He’s pathetic.’’

The pain in his chest dully continued. He knew full well that Kaito was being loud on purpose, intending for the whole classroom to listen. Including him. But again, he remained silent. Nothing came as a surprise anymore. The classroom’s door opened once more, and a slender figure quickly ran inside, giving the teacher a bow and flashing a sweet smile.

‘’Sorry for being late, Sensei! I had trouble waking up today!’’ The teacher scolded the female figure for always having trouble waking up, to which the class replied with a laugh. The female sat down on the seat in front of Shuichi’s, and turned around once the teacher started writing on the board. ‘’Hey guys, good morning!’’

‘’Morning Kaede.’’ Kaito mumbled as he tried his best to not fall asleep, lying face down on his desk.

‘’Good morning.’’ , the purple haired boy heard Shuichi reply, and glanced towards their direction as discreetly as he could. He saw Shuichi with a smile on his face, and a prominent blush on his cheeks, idly chatting with the female in front of him as Kaito had soundly fallen asleep next to them. Kokichi clenched his stomach under his desk, but let no sound out. He felt sick, and quietly got up from his desk, walking towards the classroom’s door. The teacher shot him a glance over his shoulder, but said nothing, choosing to ignore him. Again, nothing out of the ordinary for him. He slightly opened the door, just enough for him to walk out, and closed it behind him. He started pacing towards the boys’ bathroom, still holding his stomach. Pacing turned into sprinting, and sprinting turned into running. He reached the bathroom, and quickly walked inside a stool, closing the door behind him. He fell on his knees, leaning over the toilet. The pain in his stomach lingered, but he simply stood there, gasping and panting as quietly as he could manage. He was fine. He just needed to calm down. He would be _fine._ He suddenly started patting his jacket’s pockets, seemingly searching for something. After a short while, he pulled out his phone, and after a few presses of the buttons, a picture appeared on his phone’s screen. The picture of a familiar, black haired boy, seemingly taken from afar and in secret, as the boy’s attention was away from the camera. Kokichi clenched the phone close to his chest, his panting calming down just the slightest. **Disgusting.** He slowly shook his head, but then nodded several times. They were right, weren’t they? What he was doing, was disgusting. He, as a person, was disgusting. Was he even worthy of being called a _person?_ Suddenly, a sound was emitted from his phone, which made him let out a surprised gasp. He checked the screen, seeing a notification, informing him of a newly received text. He read the contact’s name, and was confused. _Saihara-kun..?_ He opened the text, reading the few lines displayed on the screen.

**Saihara-kun: Hope you aren’t in the bathrooms. Kaito’s heading there. Just a warning.**

Kokichi felt his heart skip a beat, as he suddenly stood up, shoving the phone into his pocket, and turning around to open the door. He needed to leave as soon as possible. He placed his hand on the door’s handle, but to his surprise, the door was suddenly pulled open from the other side, dragging him a few steps forward along with it. He raised his head upwards in confusion, but his expression, slowly changed into one of fear, and panic. He took a step back, his lips visibly trembling.

‘’I knew it. Can’t even hide properly, eh?’’ A long hand reached inside the stall, grabbing him from his collar, and pulling him outside with force. He let out a loud, inhuman scream, his eyes closed shut. He felt a hand on his forehead, and quickly raised his own hand, slapping it away.

‘’D-Don’t touch me!’’

 

He opened his eyes, only to be met with the face of a boy, worry painted all over his face. The shorter boy tried to back away, but realized his back was against a wall. He took a quick look around in panic, searching a way to escape. But soon, he inhaled sharply, as he realized that he recognized his surroundings. He was in the hospital’s room, sitting on his bed. His heartbeat eased down, as he looked back at figure leaning over him, still silent.

‘’W-What happened..?’’ He slowly whispered, taking a look around one more time, making sure nothing had changed. The other boy took a look around as well in confusion, and looked back towards the lying-down boy. He slowly parted his lips and answered quietly, as if worrying that his voice would scare the shorter one away.

‘’..I.. just heard noises coming from your room, so I-I came in to check, and you were squirming around in your sleep. You were saying something.. I couldn’t really understand what though. Y-You looked scared, and I..I’m pretty sure you’re running a fever.’’

Kokichi didn’t reply, simply raised his hands slightly, staring at them as if they weren’t a part of him, but something completely new and unknown to him.

‘’..Were you having a nightmare?’’ Shuichi asked, again in a quiet voice. He didn’t want to overstep the boundaries the other boy had clearly set between them, ever since their fight the previous day.

‘’..I.. don’t know.’’ The shorter boy replied, now staring back into the dark eyes above him, in mutual confusion.

‘’I..can’t remember.’’


	11. Cold

‘’Come on Ouma-kun. You’re almost there!’’ The doctor was waiting for the boy with open arms, as if she was a parent, teaching her baby their first ever steps.

‘’S-Shut..up..’’

Kokichi was panting heavily, as he did his best to steady himself once more, holding the two metal parallel bars tightly with his hands. Taking a deep breath, he slowly moved his right leg forward, shortly after followed by his left one. Walking a five meter distance might seem insignificant to most people, but to him it was progress. Progress, towards his goal of finally leaving this place. Everyday physical therapy with the female doctor in charge had helped both him and the other students that sustained heavy damage in the game. Kokichi was now able to slowly, but steadily walk around with a pair of crutches, and the doctor had assured him that once he was fine without them, he would be released. The only other students apart from him that were still being hospitalized were Tenko, who had suffered temporary paralysis from the blow to her nape, Kirumi, who had suffered several broken bones, along with Ryoma and Korekiyo, who were placed in a medically induced coma, while they healed. With the exception of Kaede and Rantaro, who had decided to help their recovering classmates, everyone had been discharged and returned to their homes, alongside their memories. Everyone, but one boy, who was silently watching Kokichi walking around in the therapy room. He was standing outside the room, looking inside from the glass that covered the wall next to the room’s entrance. He had a smile on his face, but made no attempts to approach, or talk to the other boy. He had decided that his attempts to once more befriend the shorter male only led him to be pushed further away, so he would ultimately keep his distance, and let Kokichi himself approach him whenever he was ready. This didn’t mean that he gave up, however. He was determined to regain Kokichi’s trust, even if that meant being ignored, and hated for the time being. Once he saw the doctor wave Kokichi goodbye, and the purple haired boy moving towards the room’s door, he started walking away, not intending to aggravate Kokichi further with his presence. That was, until he heard a voice aimed towards him from behind.

‘’Aren’t you tired of this already?’’ Shuichi stopped, and slowly turned around, seeing Kokichi standing still, barely balancing himself on the crutches. He had a tired look on his face, mixed with frustration, but at the same time looked calm enough for Shuichi to find the courage to reply.

‘’No, I’m not. And I won’t be, if..that’s what you’re asking.’’ Kokichi sighed, and began walking at the opposite direction, seemingly heading towards the elevator.

‘’That’s obviously what I’m asking. What are you even trying to achieve? I’m _pre~tty_ sure I made myself perfectly clear more than once now.’’ Shuichi took Kokichi’s question as a hint to follow him, so he, still keeping a fair distance, followed him to the elevator, as they walked in together.

‘’..I’m pretty sure it’s also perfectly clear that I’m trying to help you.’’ Seeing Kokichi’s glare towards him, he added; ‘’Even if you don’t want it, I still want to help you. You’re not alone in this.’’ Kokichi hummed as he stepped out of the elevator, and slowly began making his way towards the opposite way of the cafeteria, seemingly heading outside, at the yard.

‘’In what exactly am I not alone again?’’

Shuichi stepped up his pace, getting ahead of Kokichi and opening the large glass door that led to the yard. He kept it open while Kokichi walked outside, and shortly after followed him, not far behind. He zipped his jacket up, as it was winter by now, even if the first snowfall hadn’t arrived yet. ‘’Don’t play dumb, Kokichi. You’ve been having nightmares nonstop during the past few weeks, waking up screaming and shaking. Does that seem normal to you?’’

Kokichi slowly sat down at an empty bench, setting the crunches leaning next to it. Shuichi sat as well, but again, kept distance between them, sitting as far away from the other boy as possible. ‘’And you won’t even tell me, or even the doctor what you’re dreaming about.’’ Kokichi grunted, as he laid back, his sight aimed at the heavy clouds slowly covering the sky. ‘’I told you I don’t remember.’’ Shuichi, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs and his hands supporting his face, sighed. ‘’If it’s something you don’t want to talk about-‘’

‘’I told you I don’t fucking remember! I’m not lying!’’ Kokichi was now looking at the boy next to him, his expression enraged. ‘’The moment I wake up it-it just all disappears!’’ Shuichi stayed silent for a few minutes, letting the other boy take some time to calm down and relax once more.

‘’I’m not doubting you, Kokichi. I’m just trying to understand the situation a little better.’’ He finally spoke, his voice as calm as he could manage it to be. ‘’None of the others, including me, had something similar happen to us, after all.’’

‘’None of you went through what I did.’’ The boy replied, his look still towards the sky. It had started getting darker by the minute, and a cold breeze was now blowing.

‘’The things you went through..You mean what Kaede has told you, right?’’ Shuichi now stood up, taking a few steps back and forth in front of the bench. ‘’I-I’m not saying that Kaede’s untrustworthy, but can you trust everything that she told you to be exactly the way it happened? I’m sure there are others… who were more involved with you back then than her, is all.’’

‘’Are you referring to yourself? Or Kaito?’’

‘’B-Both of us..I guess.’’ Shuichi stayed silent after that, seemingly unaware of what would be appropriate to say next.

‘’Well, you don’t need to worry about that. In case you somehow forgot, I don’t want my memories back. So I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying.’’ Kokichi raised his hand upwards, seemingly attempting to reach the clouds, as he clenched his fist shut. ‘’The only thing I really heard was the names of those involved. Even during the game, even with all those fake memories implanted into me, I still had a pretty good idea of what had happened to me before.’’ Shuichi stopped pacing, and turned to Kokichi with a confused expression on his face. ‘’Y-You did? Before.. Kaede told you?’’

‘’Well duh, Shuichi. Remember the night in my room? _In the game?’’_ His voice was full of sarcasm, mimicking Shuichi’s words about that night from a few weeks ago. ‘’Don’t tell me the only thing you noticed about me was my weight.’’

Shuichi gritted his teeth, looking away. No matter how much he tried, the memory of Kokichi’s limbs covered in scars was simply engraved in his mind. He shook his head, trying to get the image away from his thoughts, when a soft sneeze interrupted him. He turned towards Kokichi, who slowly rubbed his nose, looking away in apparent irritation but also embarrassment. ‘’Should we go inside?’’ Shuichi meekly suggested. It was dark outside by now, the only source of light being a few lamps stationed a few metres away from each other on the path that led back inside the hospital.

‘’How about you go inside and leave-‘’ The shorter boy sighed, closed his eyes, and after a short while opened them again. ‘’I want to stay alone for a bit.’’ Shuichi smiled, taking off the white winter jacket he was wearing over his shirt. ‘’That’s fine.’’ He walked over to Kokichi, and loosely placed the jacket around his shoulders.

''Don’t stay out too long.’’ Not expecting a reply, he walked back inside the hospital. Kokichi glared towards the other male, as he grabbed the jacket, intending to throw it away. But with the corner of his eye, he saw several white flakes of all sizes starting to slowly touch the ground, disappearing soon afterwards. _Oh, it’s snowing_ , he simply thought. No excitement, no joy, no surprise. Just a simple realization. He simply sat there for several minutes, staring at the snow, at its attempt to slowly cover the surface and pile up. How boring. Before he even realized it, his eyes were slowly closing. All that therapy had really tired him out, to the point that not even the cold wind, and the now numerous snowflakes falling on and all around him, could prevent him from drifting off.

* * *

‘’P-Please..stop..’’

‘’Huh? Why should I?’’ Kokichi’s arm was twisted even harder behind his back, forcing him to let out a loud yell. And that yell, earned him another harsh hit on the head. ‘’Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?’’ The man, now revealed to be Kaito, took out his phone, aiming the camera towards the shivering boy lying half naked, on the cold concrete floor of the bathrooms. Several snapping sounds were heard, as the phone’s flash filled the dim lighted bathroom time after time, forcing Kokichi to shut his eyes closed, simply waiting for this whole ordeal to stop. Kaito grinned, now standing up, seemingly satisfied, and began walking outside.

‘’Don’t you ever learn?’’ he heard Kaito’s harsh voice, but didn’t reply. ‘’Or are you just a masochist? Are you enjoying this?’’ He felt the taller man kicking him in the head, his view now upwards, towards the man looming over him. Again, Kokichi gave no reply, to which Kaito raised an eyebrow, and finally left for good. ‘’Just die already.’’, was the last thing he said.

Kokichi stayed motionless for several minutes, lying on the cold, hard, concrete floor. He was staring to the ceiling with an empty look, the tears in his eyes long dried by now. He finally made a move, turning to his side with a pained grunt, placing his arm on the ground to support his weight. Stumbling forward, he managed to get up, his whole, small frame trembling. He looked around with tired eyes, finally locating what he saw as the janitor’s locket. Slowly walking towards it, and yanking it open with a weak hand, he took a good look, before reaching inside. He pulled out a long object, seemingly a rope. He stared at it, and released a small, weak sigh.

* * *

 

Shuichi walked down the stairs slowly, but determinately. He pulled out his cellphone, checking out his locked screen. Nothing new. He shoved it back inside his pocket, walking down the hallway, turning right towards the school’s bathrooms. However, he saw a tall silhouette exiting his destination, which made him stop in his tracks. He turned around, and with a few quick strides, hid behind the wall around the corner, waiting for the person to pass. Once the silhouette passed and was walking up the stairs, Shuichi came out of his hiding spot, discretely looking upwards, to be met with Kaito’s broad back, heading back towards their classroom. Shuichi scratched the back of his head with a sigh, as he now continued walking towards the bathrooms. He slowly pushed the door open, entering inside with quiet steps. He took a good glance around, until he noticed a small figure standing in front of a stall. He walked towards him, finally noticing that the figure, a boy, had his back turned towards him, staring right in front of him. What was in front of him, was a noose, ominously hanging from the stall’s roof.

‘’Kokichi?’’

The boy initially didn’t move, but then slowly, turned his head towards the male behind him, looking at him with empty, sorrowful eyes. ‘’…Saihara-kun..?’’

‘’What is it?’’

Kokichi opened his eyes. It took him a few blinks to adjust to his surroundings, finally realizing it as his hospital room. He looked to his side, where a familiar boy was sitting on a chair next to his bed, a small smile on his face.

‘’Huh?’’ That was all Kokichi managed to utter.

‘’I asked what is it.’’ Shuichi patiently repeated, his tone always calm.

‘’I heard what you said.’’ Kokichi said, arching an eyebrow with a bored expression. ‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’You..said my name.’’ Shuichi replied, cocking his head to the side. ‘’I did not.’’ The purple hair boy huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

‘’…Did I..?’’

The other male slowly nodded, as Kokichi looked confusingly towards his own lap.

‘’Were you..perhaps having another dream?’’ The smaller male looked away, his expression looking strained, and still confused.

‘’…Probably. I.. don’t remember.’’

‘’So..you were dreaming about me?’’

‘’Don’t get your hopes up Saihara.’’ Kokichi glared at him. ‘’I could have been having a nightmare for all I know.’’

‘’Right, right.’’ Shuichi smiled, placing one hand above his other, resting them both on his lap. Kokichi looked around the room once more, his eyes now narrowed.

‘’How exactly did I end up here again? Wasn’t I outside?’’

‘’Oh, right. You fell asleep on the bench. When I checked up on you, you had a small snow pile building up on your head.’’ Shuichi smiled, his eyes looking distant. ‘’I-I hope you don’t mind me bringing you back inside.’’ He now added, his hands raised up in defense. Kokichi sharply exhaled through his nose, shaking his head in frustration, before burrowing himself underneath his covers.

‘’Get out. I want to sleep.’’ He heard the chair next to him move, and footsteps, getting further and further away from him. The door was opened, as Shuichi stepped outside. ‘’Have a good rest, Kokichi.’’

The door was closed, leaving the small boy alone in the half-dark underneath the bedsheets. He shut his eyes closed, painfully so, as his fists grasped against his hair in agony. His breathing quickened, coming out in soft, fast-paced pants. The only image he could think of, was that of a noose, placed in the middle of a pitch, black room.


	12. Records

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a couple of months. Kokichi ran past the elevator, and jumped on the stairs, climbing two steps upwards at a time. After reaching the second floor, he ran to the back of the hall, and slammed the door open to a doctor’s office. The female doctor jumped in her seat, adjusted her glasses and stared at the young man standing in front of her, his arms crossed across his chest, and his foot tapping the floor impatiently.

‘’…Can I help you?’’ She asked, her eyebrow slowly rising.

‘’In fact, yes. You can. I want my discharge note. _Ri~ght_ now.’’

The doctor sighed, standing up with a frustrated expression. ‘’Let me examine you at least. Take off your clothes and lay on the bed.’’

Kokichi quickly complied, throwing his shirt away and kicking his pants off across the floor, jumping on the examination bed with a cheery expression on his face. The doctor put on her stethoscope, and begun the examination.

* * *

 

Shuichi was walking down the same hallway, as a door swung open, almost hitting him straight in the face, hadn’t he side-stepped in time. Kokichi emerged with a grin, something Shuichi hadn’t seen since forever.

‘’..You seem to be in a good mood.’’ He meekly commented, scratching the back of his head.

‘’Cause I am. I got discharged.’’ The purple-haired boy quickly replied, as he started walking towards his own room. ‘’I don’t want to spend a second longer in this crappy hospital than I have to.’’

‘’O-Oh.’’ Was all Shuichi could utter. He had been trying his ultimate best the past few months, trying to become closer to the other boy, and he thought he had made progress. But apparently, that was false, as Kokichi ran inside his own room, completely ignoring him. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, as he felt a vibration in his pocket. He took his cellphone out, and answered the incoming call.

‘’Hello Kaede.’’ He said, the disappointment in his voice more obvious than he intended it to be.

‘’Good evening Shuichi!” A cheery voice greeted him from the other line. ‘’How have you been?’’ He could almost see the smile of the woman, bright and wide as always.

‘’I’ve been alright. Things have been…relatively calm the past weeks.’’

‘’That’s good, that’s good!’’ Kaede happily replied, before continuing. ‘’So, how is Kokichi?’’

When the last few students, Tenko, Korekiyo, Kirumi and Ryoma were discharged, Kaede and Rantaro took their leave from the hospital as well. They trusted Kokichi in Shuichi’s hands, but deep inside, Shuichi knew they just didn’t want to deal with him, especially after he refused to regain his memories and remained the same awful self he was in the killing game. He couldn’t blame them, it was their own choice. And it was Shuichi’s to stay.

‘’He has been…tolerable. H-He also got discharged today.’’ His voice cracked at the last sentence, something he internally cursed himself for.

‘’Oh..’’ Kaede replied, sadness obvious in her voice, in sympathy for the young man. ‘’Have things..gotten any better between you two?’’ Shuichi had kept close contact with the blond female ever since leaving the killing game, telling her frequently about his problems and listening to her’s in return.

‘’No..not really. I have been trying my best but, well, it just…it just doesn’t seem to go through to him. I..really don’t know what to do.’’ His voice gradually got quieter, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose in desperation.

Kaede was quiet for a few seconds, letting out a soft sigh. ‘’I wish I could be of more help. Just tell you what to do, and solve all your problems immediately. But Kokichi…has never been an easy one. You’d know that better than everyone. Especially with only his killing game memories in his head.’’

‘’I know Kaede, I know. You’ve been helping me more than enough, and I’m grateful. But this is still something that I have to figure out by myself. I-I shouldn’t be bothering you with this.’’

 _‘’Bothering?!”_ Kaede said in a mockingly offended voice, but chuckled. ‘’Don’t be silly Shuichi! I’m always here for you.’’

‘’Thank you, Kaede. As I am for you.’’

Shuichi heard a door slam closed, that made him turn around with a frightened expression, to be met with a blank expression. Kokichi was standing outside his room’s door, his fists clenched, simply staring at him. Next to him was a medium-sized travel bag, seemingly stuffed with the few belongings he had. After their eyes locked for a few seconds, Kokichi sighed, picked up the bag, and turned around, heading for the stairs, and quickly striding down, towards the exit.

‘’Shuichi?’’

‘’I-I’ll call you again, Kaede. I-I gotta go, sorry.’’

‘’Did something hap-‘’

Shuichi cut off the call, and run as fast as he could towards the stairs, quickly climbing them down, and exiting the building, finding Kokichi heading towards the taxi area.

‘’K-Kokichi, wait!’’ Shuichi called out, finally catching up to him and grabbing his elbow.

Kokichi rolled his eyes, and turned around, raising an eyebrow and stared at him straight in the eye.

‘’What?’’

Shuichi opened his mouth, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say? Nothing crossed his minds, and he couldn’t form any sentences. All of his attempts to approach the other boy had failed, and at this point he felt helpless. He felt despair.

Kokichi huffed through his nose, yanking his arm away with an angry move. ‘’About time. Enough is enough.’’ He opened the door to a taxi a few feet away, stepping inside. Shuichi was frozen in his tracks, as he saw the vehicle slowly accelerate, and eventually drive off in the distance. Shuichi’s hands were trembling, and his mouth was gaping, but still, no sound came out. He simply stood there. He simply stood there, watching, in despair.

* * *

 

 Shuichi raised his mug, firmly holding it with both hands, as he softly took a small sip of the burning liquid. It tasted sweet, extremely sweet, but still delicious. He looked at the people sitting across of him, two females and two males. They were all endlessly chatting with each other, wholeheartedly enjoying the company. He turned his sight outside the window next to them, watching the snow fall on the already covered ground. Two months had passed since finally leaving the hospital facility, and everyone seemed to have settled in to their usual lives. Most of them had started taking college courses, or even begun work. It was hard at first, since everyone knew them as the participants of a killing game, but as every gossip and news story, it quickly died out. There were still a few encounters that sparked uncomfortable situations between them and people that recognized them, but by now they had learnt to ignore them, and move on. Since they still had their killing game memories, some of them decided to pursuit the talent they possessed in the game, like Kaede, who had started taking piano lessons during the past few weeks. Even if they had no real talent in this world, the passion for their correspondent art had grew in on them. Shuichi was in college, but still had no clear idea of what he wanted to do for a living. Sure, he liked being a detective, and had learned some tricks during the game, but he still, wasn’t sure. In the evening, he would work part-time in an old music record store, sitting alone along with the old-school music playing in the background, helping the scarce few customers that walked in. He wasn’t in immediate need of money, but still enjoyed being ever so slightly independent. One step at a time, after all. His shift started in an hour or so, so he still had time to spend. His eyes drifted back to his friends across the table, chattering endlessly. Lost in his thoughts as he was, he had completely missed their topic, so when Kaede suddenly called his name, he was fairly lost at words.

‘’S-Sorry, I wasn’t..paying attention. What were you saying?’’

‘’Geez, Shuichi. You’re really absent-minding lately!’’ Kaede commented, her cheeks puffed.

‘’Hey, give the man some space!’’ Kaito widely grinned, his hand slapping Shuichi’s back in a friendly matter. ‘’He has a lot in his mind!’’

Maki, sitting next to him, slightly nodded a few times in agreement, while Rantaro smiled widely.

‘’Is something concerning you, Shuichi?’’

‘’Oh, no. I-I’m alright. Thanks for asking.’’ He quickly replied, his hands raised in defense. ‘’I…wasn’t thinking of something in particular. My thoughts just kind of…drifted away?’’

‘’That’s alright. Happens to me too!’’ Kaito beamed.

‘’Sure does.’’ Maki bitterly commented, sipping her black coffee as Kaito looked offended.

‘’Well, my shift is starting soon, and I have a train to catch.’’ Shuichi said through a smile, standing up as he left enough money on the table for the beverage. ‘’I’ll…talk to you guys later?’’

‘’Sure thing!’’ Kaito nearly yelled, earning him a small punch on the shoulder from the girl next to him.

‘’See you later!” Kaede smiled sweetly, as Rantaro waved him goodbye.

Shuichi walked outside, raising his jacket’s neck higher up, trying to protect himself from the cold breeze passing through. The walk to the train station was shorter than the ride, and after a quarter of an hour, he reached the old music store. The owner, a short man in his late 60s smiled at him, as he moved away from the counter for Shuichi to take his place.

‘’Good evening my boy.’’ The old man said with a raspy voice, as he picked up his hat, slowly putting it on. ‘’How have you been?’’

‘’I’ve been very well, thank you. How have you been? Does your back still hurt?’’ Shuichi answered with a smile, taking off his jacket and settling into his spot behind the counter.

‘’Oh, don’t worry for this old man my boy, I’ll be alright.’’ The man laughed with a small cough in between, as he took his cane with a trembling hand, resting in a corner near the exit. ‘’We close up at ten tonight, but if there’s no customers, you can closer earlier, around nine.’’ He commented, as he slowly walked towards the door, his back slightly hunched over.

Shuichi nodded with a smile, waving the old man off. ‘’Have a good night.’’

‘’You too my child.’’ The man replied, as he closed the door, the little bell above it ringing a couple of times. Once that sound faded off, Shuichi was left in complete silence. He stretched his arms outwards, as he moved towards a vintage record player in the back of the store. He swiftly blew the dust that covered it away, as he chose a vinyl record, carefully placing it on the player, and setting the needle on. As _Stairway to Heaven_ calmly played on the background, he moved back behind the counter, sitting on a chair with his eyes closed, simply enjoying the music. At least half an hour had passed, and at least 6 records had been changed, and no customers had entered the store. Nothing unusual, however. Few customers came during his shift, some casuals and some curious pedestrians, intrigued by the record filled shop showcase.

Suddenly, the little bell above the door rang a few times, signalling the entrance of a customer.

‘’Welcome.’’ Shuichi quickly said, his voice higher than he intended it to be after spending so much time in silence. The customer was relatively short in size, wearing a long black raincoat, a black winter beanie, and a pair of dark sunglasses. If Shuichi didn’t know better, he’d think this was a robber. But working in a music record store had given him the chance to meet all kinds of different people with all kind of different senses of style, so he quietly sighed as he went ahead to change the record that just finished, letting the customer look around in peace. He saw the person checking out the self with all the Queen records, smiling that his first customer had tastes that matched his own, and not something like metal or punk. Not that he disliked them, they just weren’t up to his tastes. After a few more minutes, the customer seemed satisfied with their choice, and walked up to the counter with a record’s case in hand.

‘’This one.’’ They said, their voice higher than Shuichi expected it to be.

‘’Right away.’’ Shuichi replied with a smile, taking the disc and ringing it up. It was titled _‘Another one bites the dust’_ on one side, and _‘Don’t try Suicide’_ on the other side. A well known record, Shuichi thought. Good choice.

‘’That will be 2000 yen.’’ Shuichi replied, placing the record carefully in a bag.

The customer removed their glasses, and searched inside their jacket’s pocket, taking out their wallet.

Shuichi could now see the person’s face clearly, and as soon as he recognized their identity, he could swear his heart skipped a beat, painfully aching inside his chest.

‘’K-Kokichi…?’’

The customer raised their sight towards him in surprise, as gray eyes met purple ones.

Kokichi stared in silence, his mouth slightly open, with no sound coming out. But after a few seconds, he slightly shook his head, as he took out two 1000 yen bills from his wallet, handing them over the counter.

‘’2000, right?’’ He simply said, his voice cold.

‘’Right..’’ Shuichi replied, taking the money and printing the receipt, handing him both it and the bag. Kokichi immediately turned around, ready to walk outside, before Shuichi called after him.

‘’K-Kokichi, please wait!’’

The shorter male stopped in his tracks, tention obvious on his shoulders. He turned back towards Shuichi, his eyes looking simply tired.

‘’What do you want?’’ He said, his voice unusually timid.

He panicked, his mind quickly forming a quick question. ‘’H-How have you been?’’

Kokichi raised an eyebrow, along with a sigh. ‘’Fine.’’

Shuichi took a long look in, his eyes firmly studying the other man. Even under that raincoat, he could still tell that he looked thinner than usual. ‘’Fine..? You’ve lost weight, haven’t you?’’ He questioned, hoping his tone wasn’t too judgmental.

Kokichi glared at him, his fists visibly clenching. ‘’That’s no concern of yours, is it? Now, if the interrogation is over, can I leave, **_mom_**?’’

‘’I’m not interrogating you, Kokichi.’’ Shuichi replied, his voice calm and reassuring. ‘’I’m just worried about you.’’

‘’Worry and pity are _pret~ty_ different things, Shuichi.’’ The reply quickly came, as sarcastic as ever.

‘’I’ve never pitied you, not once.’’ He quickly said back, stepping from the back of the counter to stand in front of the shorter male.

‘’Of course you haven’t.’’ Kokichi mockingly replied, rolling his eyes. ‘’I kinda _really_ need to go though. So, bye-bye.’’ He said, as he turned around, his hand already on the door’s handle.

‘’C-Can I have your phone number?’’ Shuichi blurted out, not knowing what else to say.

Kokichi glared at him, as he pulled the door open. ‘’Huh?’’

‘’Y-You’ve changed it. I want to know your current number.’’

The shorter male grinned widely, but his eyes still remained in the same, cold glare. ‘’Hell no. No way.’’ He took a step outside, as he heard Shuichi call after him once more.

‘’Will you..will you come by again?’’

Kokichi took a few seconds to reply, raising Shuichi’s hopes up.

‘’Probably.’’ The reply made Shuichi smile, as he was about to thank the other man. ‘’Hopefully not while you’re on shift.’’ The second comment came, as the door closed behind the man exiting.

Shuichi leaned against the counter, his hands ruffling his hair, sighing deeply in disappointment. This…could have gone better. But, it was still a start. And a start, was still better than nothing.

 

 


	13. Deal

As it turned out, Kokichi Ouma stayed true to his word. After asking the older shopkeeper, he learned that a boy, fitting the said person’s appearance regularly visited the shop, during their shifts. But not on Shuichi’s shifts, in the evenings. After some careful thinking, he offered the older man a warm smile, and decided to make a request.

* * *

He was walking down the cold, rainy street, his hands securely fit in his pockets. His sight was aimed downwards, on the dirty, wet pavement. The only thing he could see were the raindrops lightly dropping on the ground here and there, as well as a few pairs of legs passing by him, or next to him. He was had just finished his morning classes, consisting of political science and history, and it was early noon by now. He had his part-time job in a couple of hours, him being an assistant on a nearby hospital’s receptionist and secretary department. He did not need any medical knowledge for the position, mainly computer knowledge and being able to file and find the right documents. That much he was able to do. The position was given to him from a familiar doctor, from the previous _hospital_ he was in. She was kind enough to help him find something to help him stand on his own two feet, after he made it specifically clear that he was not interested in returning to his old house. He did not want to know where it was, what it looked like, what belonged to him. He wanted nothing to do with it. His apartment was tiny, but big enough for him to live alone, and the rent was relatively cheap. He was fine like this. Until he finished college, and started a real job. He let out a sigh, as he swung open the shop’s door, that he had just reach. He painted his lips with a friendly smile, stepping inside, as he heard the familiar sound of the bells glued to the doorknob ring.

‘’Hello, Mister!’’ He greeted, turning towards the counter, to be met with a familiar, friendly smile.

‘’Hello Kokichi.’’ The boy behind the counter replied.

Kokichi huffed, raising an eyebrow. ‘’Aaand, why are you here exactly?’’

Shuichi gave him a defeated, weak smile, scratching the back of his neck. ‘’Because… I work here?’’

‘’No~t in the afternoons you _don’t_.’’ He replied, and with a roll of his eyes he moved towards the back of the store, towards the familiar wall, filled with his favorite discs.

‘’You’ve been well, I see.’’ Shuichi commented, or more of ‘stated’. ‘’How is your part-time job going along?’’ The shorter boy turned towards him with a glare.

‘’How the hell do you know about that?’’

‘’Kaede let me know.’’ He calmly replied. ‘’She kind of keeps an eye on everyone, making sure everything is moving along smoothly. After what happened.. with G-Gonta, she’s worried.’’ He said, his eyes lowered, and averted elsewhere. Kokichi sarcastically exhaled through his nose, as he forced a grin on his face.

‘’If she was ‘worried’, as you put it, she would have kept tabs on everyone as soon as the game ended. As I _kind of_ said before already, it was pa~infully obvious that someone was gonna do something like that. She should have seen it coming.’’ He picked a disc off the shelf, turning back towards the counter. ‘’Passing by Gonta’s room in the hospital, all you could hear was gross sobbing and him talking to himself. How did she not get a clue? Because she did not care, obviously! But now, that he went and done it, she suddenly cares!’’ He exclaimed, his arms thrown wide. ‘’What a coincidence, huh? Shuichi.’’

The other boy was silent, his eyes sadly locked on the other’s purple, wide ones. ‘’Kaede…’’ He started, as he slowly took the disc from the other’s hands. ‘’She had her own demons to fight. She still has. She’s only a human, after all. For all of us, coming to terms with our personalities from before, and after, wasn’t so simple.’’ He looked up, meeting the other boy’s narrowed eyes. ‘’But, she’s trying to make amends. Trying to be there, to make up for when she wasn’t, you know? That’s the best she can do for now, and I respect her for that.’’ Kokichi huffed through his nose, searching his bag for his wallet.

‘’Whatever.’’ As he extended a hand with the appropriate change, however, he felt another one, warmly grasp it. He looked up in shock, purple eyes meeting blue ones.

‘’..We need to talk.’’ Shuichi said, or more of declared, his voice steady and serious.

‘’Huh?’’ Kokichi yanked his hand back, after leaving the money behind. ‘’There’s nothing to talk about.’’

‘’Yes, there is, Kokichi. And you know it. I doubt you’re happy with the situation as it is right now. Just like I’m not.’’

‘’What situation, Shuichi? And sorry to hear you’re in your downs, but I’m per~fectly fine as I am right now.’’

‘’Please.’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Just once.’’

‘’No~pe.’’

‘’J-Just an hour. Nothing more. And if you still wish to never see me again, you won’t. I promise you that. I’ll disappear from your life, and we’ll never meet again. But, but I need to explain some things. Please.’’

Kokichi raised an eyebrow, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. ‘’You’ll disappear?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’And you’ll never come near me again.’’

‘’Yes.’’

The shorter boy crossed his arms in front of his chest, his head tilted with a thoughtful expression. ‘’One hour?’’

‘’Just one.’’ He pleaded.

‘’Deal.’’

Kokichi yanked out a piece of note-paper from his bag, quickly scribbling something down. ‘’I can live with an hour of suffering for a peaceful life afterwards, I guess.’’ He nearly slammed the paper on the counter with a not-so-friendly grin, grabbing the disc from the other boy’s hands. ‘’Bye-bye!’’ And with that, he was gone. Shuichi, his eyes still lingering on the door as it was closing, picked up the note, seeing a barely legible phone number written on it. He sighed in relief, not being able to contain the smile that spread on his lips.

_One chance. That’s all I got._  

* * *

Shuichi thanked their waitress, as he placed two steaming cups of chocolate on their table, and made her leave. The shorter boy carefully picked up his, slowly blowing air upon its top.

‘’Well? Speak. I’m cou~nting you now. 56 minutes left.’’ Kokichi said with a giggle.

Shuichi sighed, rubbing a few slender fingers against his temple. ‘’Right. So, first things first… You hate me.’’

‘’Yup.’’

‘’I-I don’t understand why. Is it really just because I chose to get my memories back? Did it matter to you that much?’’

‘’ _Painfully_ obviously.’’ The sarcastic reply came seconds later.

‘’B-But why, Kokichi? I’m still the same person.’’

‘’You’re **not**.’’ Kokichi’s tone was low, accompanied by a sharp glare. Shuichi was about to say something, but ultimately closed his mouth. He needed to think this over. Arguing back and forth wouldn’t get him anywhere.

‘’You’re right, I’m not.’’ He nodded, with a weak smile. ‘’I was a different person before I joined the game, and a different person during it. You hating the person I was before, and liking the person I was during the game, I understand that much. But you need to understand as well.’’ His hand reached across the table, sitting atop the other boy’s. Kokichi didn’t move an inch, more-so even blink.

‘’I do not regret joining that game, and I don’t regret getting my memories back. During the game I became a different person, one I realized… I liked more than who I used to be. But I couldn’t continue living a _lie_ , Kokichi. I had to reach back into the past, and accept who I really was. A-And that’s what I did. I can reflect on my mistakes and my faults. I can apologize, ask for forgiveness, and make amends. Just putting everything behind and keep going as if nothing happened… it wouldn’t be fair. To myself, and to you.’’

Kokichi remained silent, but Shuichi could see in the intense purple eyes that he was paying attention. ‘’And…I know you don’t want to get your memories back. And I will respect that if it’s your final decision. But you can’t keep going like this, Kokichi. Living in a _lie_. This just… it isn’t you. And you know it.’’ Shuichi’s hand wrapped around his cup, feeling the warmth it was emitting.

‘’You wanted to change. I can understand that. I wanted to change myself… I just… Well, I guess I didn’t know it back then. But a fake personality given to you by a simulation won’t change you, Kokichi. Only you can change yourself, through words and actions.’’ He noticed that Kokichi had averted his eyes, now staring outside the window with empty eyes.

‘’Kaito…’’ Kokichi’s eyes were brought back against his own, a deep, threatening glare radiating from them. Shuichi sighed.

‘’Kaito, you know. He did a lot of things before the game. Horrible things, I know.’’ He saw Kokichi’s glare slightly calm down, and he found the courage to continue. ‘’I did horrible things as well. I was aware of what was happening, what you were going through, yet I did nothing to stop it.’’ Shuichi’s hand retracted from the other boy’s, as he was now staring at his own open palm.

‘’I… I guess I was a coward. I wasn’t scared of Kaito, I don’t think so at least. I just, I just chose to remain neutral.’’ Shuichi’s hand was closed to a tight fist, as he lowered his own sight towards his lap.

‘’Until that day.’’

Somehow, Kokichi immediately knew which day the boy was referring to. He had dreamed about it, few too many times, after all.

‘’W-When I saw you, just standing there… with that n..’’ He swallowed, trying to clear the clot stuck in his throat. ‘’With that noose in front of you…I just-I just grabbed you. I hit you too, I’m pretty sure.’’

Kokichi remembered the rope vividly, but nothing of the continuation of that event. ‘’Then… I just told you to go home. And I found Kaito. I punched him, right in the face. I had never even punched someone before, but I did then, and he fell down. He was just staring at me, like I was crazy. Like he had done nothing wrong, like he was innocent. W-We didn’t really talk after this, and well, after a few days… The game begun.’’

‘’Are you going somewhere with this?’’ He heard the other boy’s voice after his long silence.

‘’After we all left the hospital, Kaede insisted I meet with Kaito. I wasn’t sure about it, both of us had taken our memories back, and things… were still awkward between us from back then. But, I agreed.’’ Kokichi took a large sip of his beverage, and left it back on the table after a few seconds.

‘’We talked about random things for some time. Just laughing, having fun. But eventually, we talked about what happened back then.’’ Kokichi noticed a smile spreading on the other’s face, as he looked towards him. ‘’You know what was the first thing he said about it?’’ Kokichi raised an eyebrow.

_‘’You should have punched me harder.’’_ That earned a frown from the shorter boy.

‘’Kaito… changed. Even more than I did. He said that he was disgusted with his self before the game. When he took his memories back, and remembered… everything, he couldn’t believe he had done things like that. He’s had nightmares ever since, even until this day.’’ Shuichi scratched the back of his own nape, his smile softening. ‘’And when I told him… how I found you… in that bathroom…’’ He shook his head. ‘’No, that’s not up to me to tell you. It’s up to him.’’

And a few moments later, Kokichi’s eyes were shot wide, as he saw a familiar figure enter the shop, looking towards their direction.

‘’You called him here?!’’ Kokichi glared, about to stand up and just leave.

‘’Kokichi, please. An hour, right? That was our deal. Just an hour. I-I still have time, right?’’ Kokichi sighed in annoyance, but settled down, not glancing towards the time, however. Kaito sat next to Shuichi, and across from the other boy, awkwardly scratching the back of his hair under the intense glare he was receiving.

‘’Well… Hi?’’

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, his mouth forming a shape of disgust.

‘’Okay, yeah.’’ Kaito looked towards Shuichi, seemingly lost about how he should go on with this. Shuichi smiled, grasping his shoulder with a friendly hand.

‘’He’s listening. Just tell him what you want to say.’’ Kaito sighed, turning his attention back across the table.

‘’Well… Damn, I’m no good at this. First of all, I’m sorry. For uh, back then.’’ The glare didn’t weaken at all, if anything, it deepened.

‘’I want you to forgive me. Hell, I’m going crazy over this. Nightmares man, they-they just won’t stop. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll understand.’’

He sighed, trying to find his strength to continue. ‘’When Shuichi told me he saw you about to-‘’ He cleared his throat. ‘’I-I just broke down, you know? I started crying. Sobbing, and swearing. Because I knew that back then, I wouldn’t care. Hell, I-I told you to die! I pushed you to do that, I might have actually been happy about it! And knowing that now…’’

He noticed that Kokichi was no longer glaring at him. He could see the purple eyes were glistened, but he wasn’t sure if it was anger, or sadness.

‘’Knowing that now, I feel like scum. Lower than scum, the lowest.’’ He insisted, his own eyes obviously fighting back tears.

‘’I… Just, think about it, okay?’’ Kaito retreated. ‘’Just know that I’ve changed. Others had the luck of being a scumbag during the game, and going back to their previous life, claiming their mistakes during the game weren’t their own fault, and put everything behind them. But well, I can’t do that. I need to face reality, and change myself.’’

Kokichi was now looking once more outside the large window, as he now saw another familiar silhouette, a female. The woman was standing outside the entrance, her hands deep in her long, red coat’s pockets. Her low, twin-ponytails gracefully fell down her shoulders and onto her chest, slowly swaying with the light breeze. As they locked eyes, she gave him a small smile, and a wave of her hand. Kaito stood up, once he saw the girl outside.

‘’Well, that’s… that’s all. You clearly uh, don’t want me here, so I’ll leave. Just… if you wanna talk, about anything, I’m here, okay? Shuichi can give you my number. I-If you want. No pressure.’’ Kaito had his hands up in defense, as Kokichi rolled his eyes. ‘’Goodbye.’’

‘’Bye.’’ Kokichi, surprisingly replied, but his gaze was still elsewhere. Kaito softly smiled at the reply, as he waved Shuichi off, and exited the store.

Shuichi glanced towards the wall across the room, and the large, delicate clock that decorated it. ‘’Well, my hour is done. Uh, five minutes past, actually. Sorry.’’ Kokichi hadn’t realized that, but didn’t seem to really care. He glanced towards Shuichi, who was staring back at him with a slightly questioning expression.

‘’So…?’’

‘’So what?’’ Kokichi replied, raising an eyebrow.

‘’N-Nothing, nothing.’’ Shuichi called for their waitress, and paid for both their beverages. ‘’Do you want Kaito’s number?’’ He finally asked, fairly meekly.

‘’Whatever.’’

‘’Y-You want it?!’’ Shuichi's shock was more than obvious.

‘’I said _whatever_.’’ Kokichi spat back, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Shuichi quickly retrieved a small piece of paper from his pockets, scrambling a number on it and slowly passed it across the table. ‘’H-Here.’’ Kokichi grabbed it, crumbled it into a ball and shoved in inside his pocket, as he stood up. They both exited the shop, as Shuichi turned towards the boy standing next to him.

‘’You have my number, right? I-If…’’ He looked away, with an awkward expression. ‘’Well, you can call anytime, if you want. That’s all.’’ Kokichi felt a hand against his shoulder, urging his attention towards the other boy. ‘’Thank you for coming today, Kokichi. I mean it.’’

‘’A deal is a deal.’’ Kokichi mumbled, as Shuichi smiled.

‘’Still, thanks.’’ The hand was retracted, and was formed into a wave. ‘’I hope to hear from you again. Bye.’’

Kokichi didn’t move, and simply watched the other boy’s back as he walked away. He shoved his own hands into his pockets, and slowly, removed the crumbled piece of paper. Smoothing it over, he looked down onto the number, with calm, tired eyes.

He had a lot to think about, that much he knew.


End file.
